Never play pool with a guy named “Fats”.
Never eat at a joint named “Mom’s”.
When traveling, have a specific place for everything and always (always, always) put it away in that place.
As long as you know you’re green, you grow,
But as soon as you think you’re ripe, you start to rot.
- E. Paul Sechrist, Jr.
Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
Kind of seems redundant, doesn’t it? I’ll bet tires rotate at least 1000 times for every mile you drive.
Not only that, but you technically rotate the wheels, too, not just the tires.
People often say that “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.” , but the converse is also true. “Anything not worth doing is not worth doing well.”
This latter phrase has served me well at work, for example in the writing of reports that are required but which no one will actually read.
And then there’s Edwin Land’s astute observation, “Anything worth doing is worth doing to excess.”
Plastics!
It is often better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
-“BB”-
If thinking that you have to do it right means that you won’t do it at all: for a large percentage of things, just go ahead and do it the best you reasonably can.
Half of what you think you know is probably wrong. The difficulty is figuring out which half.
Close the upper cabinet door before you bend down for something.
Never forget, half the people you meet are dumber than average.
There’s a sucker born every minute.
And as George Carlin observed, everyone who drives slower than you is a moron. Everyone who drives faster than you is a maniac!
Never ask someone if they respect you. Their subconscious will immediately start searching for reasons not to.
Dave Barry’s advice to his daughter:
“A man who is nice to you, but rude to the waitress, is not a nice person.”
When you read an article, a post, or a comment, consider the writer’s grammar, spelling, and sentence construction. If they’re so ignorant that they cannot or will not learn the difference between there, their, and they’re, for example, you may want to take whatever else they may have to say with a very large grain of salt.
-“BB”-
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of them are stupider than that. - George Carlin
Know what to kiss, and when.
Hassle is always finite.
Do not play near windows or on stairs.
Never do today what can be put off until tomorrow (or longer).
If you leave things until the last minute, they get done faster.
Don’t eat the fire truck.
Get that finger out of your ear! You don’t know where that finger’s been.
If someone offers you a breath mint, take one.