Prelude to "I Wouldn't Touch It With A Ten Foot Poll"

In My Humble Opinion
1

I would like to start a poll on who would be the last living person on earth you would want to have sex with, and I need names to put in the poll. The only rules are:

  1. It must be one person
  2. It must be a gender you are normally attracted to
  3. It must be at least a semi-public figure. You might think Auntie Grizelda is one ugly skank with a personality to match, but poll-wise that’s only gonna get one vote.
2

Roseanne Barr

3

Paris Hilton.

4

Paris Hilton

ETA: Simulpost!

5

The Situation

6

Kim Jong-il, John Malkovich, Willem Dafoe.

7

Ann Coulter

The women had better have Glenn Beck!

8

Amy Winehouse.

9

Dick Cheney

10

Disqualified.

11

Heh, what if it’s a doper?
Okay… Rosie O’Donnell

12

Ugh I didn’t comprehend the instructions.

Flava Flav

13

Nancy Pelosi (and I’m a Democrat)

14

Actually, I, ah, kinda find him cute. He wouldn’t be allowed to talk, but I wouldn’t be upset if I had to bump uglies with him.

runs and hides

This is tough, but it would have to be someone I find both physically and mentally repulsive.

But I think Floaty Gimpy hit it with Kim Jong Il. Murderous dictator and ugly ass man with a horrific god complex.

15

Elena Kagan.

16

So many choices, but I’ll pick one that I think will get votes:

Andy Dick

I know I’m going to come up with the one perfect answer as I lie awake in bed at about 4:30 a.m., but that’s the best I can do for now.

17

Linda Tripp

18

Oops, thought we were making a list.

So I’ll just pick Kim Jong-il.

19

O J Simpson

20

Larry King.

(But really, there are too many to choose.)