Punchlines Only, Please

Better Nate than lever.

“Peter, I can see your house from here.”

The Aristocrats!

You can tell them by the stretch marks around their mouths.

The 7 year old in the back of my van.

“You got me up at 3:00 AM JUST to hear some asshole singing Hello Dolly?”

“No soap, radio!”

Rectum? Nearly killed 'em!

gunshot OK, now what do I do?

Rustling

Kermit the Frog’s full attention.

Ugly sheep.

“I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and fifteen bucks for a fucked up duck!”

Their tiny hands make your cock look big.

A hundred dollars, same as in town.

Recognition. That’s all I want.

(sung) Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?

Inflation!

Because they don’t have balls to scratch.

Goddammit, Silver, I said bring POSSE!