Punchlines only

This thread prompted me to ask…

Please post your favourite punchline. My favourite punchline is…

“Hey vampire! Get out of the f*%&ing way!”

“Kermit’s middle finger”

See you next month.

“If I could walk that way, I wouldn’t need the talcum powder.”

No. I’m Frayed Knot.

“Go up there and make sure that’s your Daddy in that coffin.”

Rectum? Damn near killed 'im!

“They’re here to hold ole Wang - he don’t go for that shit either.”

The first nun says to the second “I’ve never come this way before.”

“I simply told her the first class section was NOT going to New York City.”

“Ta-Da!”

My cat’s breath smells like cat food.

“Might as well shoved it up my ass, for all the good it did me.”

A Stick!

A nun falling down the stairs.

The same nun the day after she fell down the stairs.

Two skunks fighting over a pickle.

You’d think one of em would have noticed.

Hell, we were married for 28 years!

and my favorite golf joke (publish it Maxim!)

“Nice shot, Dad!”

The grasshopper says, “You got a drink called Bill?”

Two out of three people prefer Cheerios to Raisin Bran.

Well, I have to start by saying that 17 minutes worth of nothing but punchlines can be found in this post in my stupid LJ.

Gingy’s “A stick!” is one of my faves, but since she took that I’ll have to go with:

“You’ll have to point it out, ma’am…all of those Japanese cars look alike to me.”

Me no like 'um horse, either.

Holy Mackeral! look at all those f*cking Indians!

Hick! Buuuurp! I’m all shook up!

And where are YOU going to find a lawyer?

I forgot:

“You’re drunk, Dad.”

moo!