“You can bet your ass it won’t be cornflakes!”
“So, what did the chicken say to piss you off?”
Sheep lie.
What’s that noise?
…and I shot my dog.
…but the teachers were the best. They made me do it over, 'til I got it right.
Significant penalties for early withdrawal.
I call 'em vagitarians.
You want 2 lanes, or 4?
Abyssinia attestation.
Twelve of Britney’s peers? From where?
Noooooo! Save me Eva Braun!
I like smell eggs.
A nun with a javelin throught her head.
Christopher Walken
“Just goes to show ya – some people can tell a joke, and some can’t!”
look both ways before crossing the street
Fo drizzle!
I said “run into town and bring back the POSSE!”
It’s hard to have a battle of wits when your opponent is unarmed.
“Because I have one of these. And with one of these, I can have all of THOSE that I want.”
A wind tunnel
So redheads can understand them
“Oh, honey. That’s not how you get babies. That’s how you get jewelry.”
“And then Jesus comes out of the cave, and if he sees his shadow we have six more weeks of basketball.”
“I am so glad I don’t work for the Johnson and Johnson quality control division…I am SO glad I don’t work for the Johnson and Johnson quailty control division…”
Move over, girls, I have to gargle.
What is this, some kind of joke?
I wish it were dark.
Would I ask for a twelve inch pianist?
“That explains the Mayonaise running down your leg.”
Overheard in the public restroom: “That’ll leave a skidmark all the way to the treatment plant!”
Toaster!!?? I hardly know 'er!
Would you believe they were going to name it the Vaginosaur???
Two favorites:
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Velcro gloves.
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…so I was fucking my best friends mom…
Arrr…it’s driving me nuts!
One of my favorites
"No, he goes to Wisconsin."
(Send E-Mail if you want the full joke. For those that know it, you’re probably laughing yourself silly right now).