The bartender says, “That’s not a duck.!.!”
“I don’t care, I’m on a bicycle!”
also:
“You’re a mean drunk, Superman.”
Okay, here goes…
*- To get to the other side.
- “Looks like rain.”
- “I said, ‘TICKLE YOUR CUNT WITH A FEATHER.’”*
Anyhoo…
“Eight! Eight! Eight!”
It’s a very obscure joke, which unfortunately doesn’t really work in written form.
-
You never told me your dad was a pharmacist!
-
It’s a knick-knack, Patty Wack, give the frog a loan, his old man’s a rolling stone.
-
Over here! On the swing!
The son of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of the other two hides.
“Are you sure this is where he fell in?”
and my personal favourite…
“Would you mind taking the dog for a walk”
…and so the duck says, “but I don’t even own a bar of soap!”
“Yes, it was a trifle bazaar”
A joke that only I found amusing, and all my friends hated
“Help me find my keys and we’ll drive out of here!”
“Where’s my cookie??”
“Five dollars, same as uptown.”
“Dung!!”
“And there on the nighstand was her glass eye.”
“Duh, it’s the cat!”
“The automatic milking machine that processes 40 gallons a minute.”
“Shank oo, shir.”
“Where’s that grandmother with the toothache?”
“Which one of you bastards pushed me?”
“He measures everything since that cue ball.”
'No, the one next to it"
or, the joke of the month for November:
“I’m F’ckin’ Freezing!”
“Tag! you’re It.”
(Unfortunately, shaggy-dog stories don’t work so well in print.)
- jam
An Abelian Grape
Zorn’s Lemon
Let’s assume we have a can opener.
What do I look like? A radio?
I’m still a hole behind!
Lather, Rinse, Repeat
God, those Mormons have been irrigating again!
hand cream
“God just chuckled and said, ‘Who’s he going to tell?’”
“Well, some people just don’t know how to tell a joke.”
“Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?”
“I wouldn’t send a knight out on a dog like this.”
“And here I am with two obese Pattys, Special Ross, Lester G. picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus!”
“Really? You serve a drink called Charlie?”
I think you mean:
“Where’s my cookie?” Wham!
More:
“Now come bass solo.”
“No, I said she was fucking Goofy.”
“The light is better here.”
“but ya screw ONE goat!”
“What do you mean, wrong hole?”
“Tarzan stripes forever!”
“ME!”
“You’re a vagina!”
Well Niel Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Micheal Jackson sodomizes young children.