Questioning Sexual Orientation - Need Website

I don’t know if there is such a monster out there or not, but my friend has called me all in a tizzy. Her 25 yr old daughter thinks she is bi-sexual or a lesbian or maybe none of the above. She is really confused. It’s causing her much anxiety.

Is there a website that helps guide confused individuals to find their true identity?


I don’t think a website would be capable of that.

My 2 cents

Googling “gay youth resources” turns up lots of links. I didn’t review all of them but these appear to be supportive and free of propaganda:

And for Mom:

Thanks Otto.

I will gladly pass on the sites you linked but I will forgo the PFLAG for the mom. She is a strong Christian and is against the idea of homosexuality and when I viewed that site, it seemed as though it was in strong support of gay & lesbian children.

Isabelle - PFLAG is a great organization. Don’t discount them for your friend. I’m sure many parents there have been uncomfortable with their children’s sexuality, but it’s a wonderful resource and if your friend’s daughter is indeed gay or bisexual, they can help her come to terms with that WITHIN the realm of her own religious beliefs.

Isabelle, if your friend’s mother doesn’t believe in support for gay and lesbian children, getting yourself involved in this situation might be a bad idea. It sounds like a bloodbath waiting to happen.

I’d back away slowly if I were you.

Yes maybe I should. I just hate to see people struggling.

who is confused, the woman or her mother?

I feel bad for families that have to confront these circumstances. My father’s best friend is a religious man. This man has three sons, the youngest is gay. The father & his wife warmly accept & welcome the wives & families of their older sons. The youngest son (who is now at least 40 yrs old) never has an easy time of it when he wants to visit and bring his partner with.

His dad feels like the son is shoving his “lifestyle choice” in his face.
The son just wants to feel accepted and loved for who he is and in the same measure as his sibs. Sucks all around.

Isabelle If your friend’s daughter is a lesbian, your friend is going to have a really rough time. I know that there are Christian organizations out there that support gays, lesbians and their families. PFLAG is great, but might be over the top for your friend, esp at first.

I’d see if I could find any contact info for those Christian resources.

The daughter is the one confused. She doesn’t know exactly what her orientation is.

The mother is upset because she is a Christian and is against homosexuality and doesn’t want her daughter to be anything more then straight.

I couldn’t find any Christian support groups. Maybe because Christianity (to my knowledge) doesn’t embrace this lifestyle.

I know my church has a club (for lack of better word) for “recovering homosexuals” Those who once lived the lifestyle as a gay or lesbian but have seen the light and now want to live on the straight and narrow road.

Man! Even tho I know it’s not funny, since reading this gem I haven’t been able to wipe the grin off my face.

Praise the lord and pass the Playboys!

Youth Guardian Services is a great site that has email lists to support questioning youth. (I believe that it does go up to 25 years). Also, one site that really deals well with the Christian/gay disparity is Bridges Across

Wait… is this woman trying to help her daughter sort out her own feelings, or is she trying to find a way to convince her daughter that her feelings are wrong?

Somehow I suspect I’m not going to be happy with the answer here.


The best thing you can do is get that poor girl onto the SDMB as soon as possible. She will get good advice here from straights, gays, atheists and Christians.

I have never wanted to use the roll eyes smiley before reading this quote. Yeesh.

Eve - do I sense resentment that you simply haven’t found the right church? Let us pray together.

I know it’s evil of me, but dammit I’m still smiling!

Well it is a little more complicated then I have explained thus far.
My friend gave her daugher (Morgan) up for adoption when she was born. So my friend has not had any influence on Morgan while growing up and so you are now dealing with the pain & suffering of a mother who was torn from her child coupled with the guilt of not being able to be there and support her and offer her religious bringing up. Now throw in the mix that they just met a year ago.

The mother is trying to bond/fuse and freely love this 25 yr old.
This is very traumatic without throwing in the mix that the daugher has now confessed that she doesn’t know what her orientation is. To a strong Christian this is terrible news.

Although I haven’t asked her if she is trying to “convince” Morgan she is straight I strongly suspect that she is leaning in that direction. The mother has asked me to please pray for Morgan.

Goodness, Isabelle but you certainly live quite the soap opera! I can’t wait for next week’s plot developments.

Morgan is one lucky, lucky young woman.

My thoughts exactly, Eve.

Egads. My official diagnosis of this situation is trainwreck.

Personally, I’d be praying for compassion, and Christian love to overcome diversity, and asking God to show me how to love those who’s views I don’t agree with. I’d also be polishing my running shoes for the quick departure.

We all know how this play ends, right?