Questions you really don't want the answer to.

For instance, why is there lipstick on the toilet seat in the department restroom?

I guess I’m a little relieved that it doesn’t appear to be a shade worn by anyone working here.

How about the rest of you? Any situations you’ve come across that you think you’re better off not knowing the reason?

I may regret asking this, but – men’s room or ladies’ room?

Community. One room for all.

Was it lip prints, or just a smudge?

I’m often on road trips with my rugby club. The most notorious question I don’t really want the answer to: What’s that smell?

Just a smudge. On the bottom of the seat. Fairly obviously transfer from a finger, but you know how the mind of a Doper works.

So I’m not the only one thinking “Senor Wences”?

Mine from last week…

Why is the police SWAT team, 5 police cars, and an ambulance in front of my hotel at 7:00AM?

Nothing so far in the news…


Is the liverwurst fresh?

Why are the kids being so quiet?

“Yes, but what kind of meat?”

What is that? (You may actually want an answer to “What *is * that?”, but rarely the former.)

Why is there broken glass on the floor (in the office)?

Why is it so quiet?

How did the glass plate on the copier get broken? (Not related to the above question.)

What did I just chew in that eggroll?

How did your pants get on the roof?

How did my pants get on the roof?

Why did I wake up wearing pants but no underwear in a Chevette?

How did this $80 cash get into my wallet?

Just what the hell did I spend my paycheck on, anyway?

My first thought was “Someone got their ass kissed” Thats just me.

My question:

Do I look fat?

From last week sometime:

“Is all of that actually blood on the concrete?”

The answer was yes, unfortunately.

“So, wanna hear about your ex’s new boyfriend?”

Sometimes it’s not a question, but a statement you don’t really want elaboration on.
Like the time I walked into work and was greeted with a cheery:

“Well, the fire’s out!”