Raj [to Howard]: Go away. She wants New Delhi, not kosher deli.
If you want to put on some music that would be ok
Wow this road trip just got crazy
Play that funky music white boy
Amy: I’m here because my mother and I have agreed that I will date at least once a year.
Sheldon: Interesting. My mother and I have the same agreement about church.
Amy: I don’t object to the concept of a deity, but I’m baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.
Sheldon: Well, then you might want to avoid East Texas.
Imagine you’re holding a pen.
Wil Wheaton and Penny are doing a podcast about the movie they did together, “Serial Apeist 2”, and Kevin Smith calls in and Wil makes a joke about Kevins movies:
Kevin: You’re crusin for a beaten Wheaton.
Also:
Kevin: Hey man are you OK because it’s been like 2 minutes and you haven’t brought up Stand By Me.
Penny: Tonight is Sheldon’s first official date. Discuss.
**Amy: **Is this true?
Sheldon: Apparently, a semi-incestuous Teens for Jesus Fourth of July Hoedown didn’t count.
Brent Spiner: Oh, wow. I haven’t seen one of these in years. (Rips open action figure packaging) Remember how we used to make things look like they were masturbating?
Sheldon: How many sexual encounters have you had?
Amy: Does volunteering for a scientific experiment in which orgasm was achieved by electronically stimulating the pleasure centers of the brain count?
Sheldon: I should think so.
Amy: Then 128.
Are you having a stroke?
Cuz that’s the kinda thing that will ruin a party.
You’re sitting in my spot.
Oh, gee… you gotta be kidding me.
Leonard, she’s in my spot.
Yeah, yeah. Uh… see, here’s the thing: after you leave, I still have to live with him.
I don’t care. I’m taking a stand. Metaphorically.
(which seems kind of inconsistent, that Penny would know how to use a word like “metaphorically”)
Penny isn’t dumb. She just isn’t a genius scientist with a Ph.D (or in Howard’s case, an engineering degree from MIT, which, no matter what Sheldon says, is pretty damn impressive). If Penny were dumb, she wouldn’t be able to follow the plot of something like A Streetcar Named Desire, or understand The Diary of Anne Frank in historical context. She’s undereducated, and not especially insightful, but someone who has taken acting classes has bumped up against the word “metaphor” many, many times.
Penny: Alrighty! What’s new?
**Amy: **Well, just recently I learned that you refer to us as “Shamy”, and I don’t like that.
Penny: Uh, I got it, but what I was going for was—you know—how’s your life?
Amy: Like everybody else’s: subject to entropy, decay, and eventual death. Thank you for asking.
That’s the wrong arm for a heart attack.
Raj: But excuse me, I have something to say. None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was gonna be like the old days – the four of us hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be the only one without a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I’ll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!
(One of Kumar’s absolutely best scenes)
Leonard: That’s great news about you and Bernadette [getting back together]!
Howard: Yeah, I think I’m going to take her to miniature golf.
Leonard: Oh, well, I guess for you guys, that’s like regular golf.
Are you having a stroke?
Cuz that’s the kinda thing that will ruin a party
Take a peek at post 210. 
**Leonard: **What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed!
Is it because I’m Jewish? Cuz I’d kill your Mother with a pork chop to sleep with your sister.