Priya: Leonard, wake up.
Leonard: Huh? Huh, jus’, sorry.
Priya: What for?
Leonard: I don’t know. When I’m in bed with a girl, that’s just my go-to response.
I’m just gonna call my Mother, that’s just what little Matzah Balls do
Amy: So anyway to make a long story short, turns out I have an unusually firm cervix.
Penny: You know, Amy, when we say girl talk, that just doesn’t have to be about our lady parts.
Amy: Shame, cause I have a real zinger about my tilted uterus.
Any chance his car needs to be washed by a girl in a bikini ?
umm,
Do you actually believe that after the way you’ve just behaved that I would even consider recommending you for admission?
No. I’m gonna be honest with you. The only reason I’m applying is so my dad will keep paying for my apartment. I really don’t have a desire to go to med school.
But you have perfect MCAT scores!
Yeah, just cause you’re hung like a moose doesn’t mean you gotta do porn.
I think Kumar is not in Big Bang Theory
And that’s how a girl makes a scene.
Mary Cooper: The Lord never gives you more than you can handle, and fortunately, He blessed me with two other children who are dumb as soup.
Have you guys been watching the reruns on TV?
I don’t know if they run the reruns daily in your area but they run two a night in mine.
And they’ve had commercials for the new LEGO Batman movie Big Bang Theory crossover but they have the apartment and all the gang as LEGO. It’s pretty neat.
I first noticed it yesterday.
Batman: (talking about Sheldon.) You are a Saint for putting up with him.
Leonard: You’ll never guess what just happened!
Sheldon: You went out in the hallway, stumbled into an inter-dimensional portal which brought you 5,000 years into the future where you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you’re back to bring us all with you to the year 7010 where we are transported to work at the thinkatorium by telepathically controlled flying dolphins?
Leonard: No. Penny kissed me.
Sheldon: Well, who would ever guess that?
My apologies to Kunal Nayyar
Schrodinger’s Cat.
Howard: When you’re in a public restroom, when foot do you flush the toilet with?
Sheldon: (After thinking a minute) Right, always right.
Zack: You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel: turns out that if you kill a starfish, it’ll just come back to life.
Sheldon: Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.
Penny is getting up to go tell Sheldon to stop playing the same couple of measures of music over and over again in the middle of the night when he is trying to figure out his earworm. There was a brief argument with Leonard over whose turn it was to deal with Sheldon this time.
This follows:
Leonard: (sing-songy) I love you.
Penny: Who cares?
Penny: Hey, you guys ready to order?
Sheldon: Since we come in every Tuesday night at 6:00 and order the same exact thing, and it’s now…[checks his watch] 6:08, I believe your question not only answers itself, but also stands alongside such other nonsensical queries as “Who Let the Dogs Out?” and, uh… “How are they hanging?”
Penny: [writing] Okay, so the usual with extra spit on Sheldon’s hamburger.
Sheldon: Maybe I don’t give your MIT education enough credit
Howard: I saw it on Myth Busters
Again, Read – the Book – We gave you.
Leonard: I found another Tweet from a student at Sheldon’s lecture: [from his phone] “Dr. Cooper has taken a relatively boring subject and managed to make it completely insufferable. Plus, he looks like a giant insect.”
KMN.
Are you crazy? This is a street fight, the street has no rules!