“Please go to Mars.”
“She was my SECOND cousin!”
“No. No. No. Hell no.”
“With your American accent, everything you say sounds stupid.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t even consider you a real celebrity.”
“It’s a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable; it’s very wrong to say it’s a suspension bridge.”
“I like your moxie.”
“Aww… and I like your grandpa words.”
Sheldon: Here come the waterworks.
Leonard: Aren’t you gonna ask?
Penny: What is this, my first day?
“In high school, he could hear me open a can of beer in my closet under a blanket.”
“I’m sorry. We don’t have a code for robot hand grasping a man’s penis.”
“You were comparing me to a prize stud. Go on.”
“Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?”
“My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.”
A new one:
"Sheldon, that word isn’t “thank”.
My mom made [Girl Sprouts] up as an alternative to the Girl Scouts. She didn’t want me selling cookies on some street corner like a whore.
“Whoa! Someone finally got to second base.”
“It’s not funny anymore, James.”
“Then why am I laughing?”