I’ll bet that’s bad for your posture!
Maybe I’m missing something in the tone of this statement, but the fact that she’s mentioning it doesn’t necessarily mean that she is enthused about the idea. Is it possible that she is anticipating this gondola ride with the same trepidation that you are?
I had been engaged before and didn’t want to make that mistake again.
So, I told my GF, who knew of the prior engagement, that I did not want to rush into anything. I was not going to even consider marriage as an option until at least one full year of dating. Then, I would consider it.
Well, on our 1 year anniversary of dating, we took a nice getaway road trip out of town for the weekend. When we were on our way home, we stopped for dinner and she said she was disappointed because she thought I was going to propose on that trip.
I had to explain that the thought of a proposal hadn’t even crossed my mind. I reiterated that now that we had been dating for one year, I could consider it. I hadn’t even considered it up to that point because it had been less than one year. I reminded her that said previously that I wasn’t even going to start considering it until 1 year of dating had passed.
She asked how long it would take me to consider it.
I said I couldn’t make promises other than I would know within a year one way or the other. Either I will propose within a year, or we have to consider going the other way because it’s not working out.
She hung on and waited.
364 days later, I proposed, she accepted, we got married, and now we have baby girl.
Hey, Anachronism, thanks for chiming back in. I didn’t want to say anything until you told us a little more about you and your particular situation. There’s no one-size-fits-all for these kinds of things.
That said … good grief, man, the ink on your divorce papers is still wet! Two friggin’ weeks, and you’re feeling pressure to get married again already? Too soon, too soon.
I’d also ask what the institution of marriage actually holds for you two at this point. You’ve both done the ‘deed’, you’re not wanting kids…why get married? If it’s just because ‘it’s harder to go our separate ways’, then perhaps that’s an issue that needs ironing out.
This.
And this. She’s been married already, she’s 40 or so; she doesn’t need the Princess wedding to prove to her girlfriends she can get a man, I hope. And, of course, we could all be making assumptions about her that are completely off-base. Having a good conversation is strongly recommended at this point. 
OMIGOD, there’s a BEN, too?
I don’t understand. If you haven’t mentioned the trip yet, how/why is she expecting a proposal?!?
I know it is something she has in mind in general and when I bring up the trip I’m afraid she will be thinking ‘this is when he’s going to propose’ and be disappointed at the end.
I talked to her, she is hurt, mad, disappointed and doesn’t want to talk to me 
Sorry to hear that.
What did you say? What did she say? Details, man- you dragged us into this so you can’t leave us hanging now!
And communication kills yet another relationship.
This is not how a grown woman handles this situation. She let her friends (or herself) create an imaginary situation and then got upset at you for not living up to that. If she were 19, I’d say this is normal-- it isn’t at her station in life.
Look at it this way: if she doesn’t get over it. . . well, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.
I’m terribly sorry that she reacted that way, but as pointed out, your divorce is barely dry - what’s her rush? I can tell you as a 43 year old woman, if I was dating a guy who was fairly recently divorced and he wasn’t eager to rush into marriage, I would understand that. Hell, I’d understand if he never wanted to get married again.
Is it possible she’s afraid she’s the Rebound Relationship, and you will never get serious with her?
I’d have to seriously rethink my involvement with a person who couldn’t understand my need to take a little time after my divorce before getting engaged again.
100% agreed.
From what you’re describing, she sounds like a very immature 40 year old woman.
Maybe she thinks she’ll never get remarried at this rate and that she’ll die alone? 
But “never remarry” isn’t the same as “die alone”. I seriously don’t get the American obsession with serial divorce.
Either she’ll get over it, in which case it’s fine, or she won’t, in which case you dodged a bullet.
I had a similar conversation with my girlfriend at a point in the relationship when she knew that she wanted to marry me but I had not reached the same point. This was probably about a year and a half into the relationship, and we were living together by this point. What I told her was that while I loved her and I knew she was ready to make the commitment, I wanted to wait to ask her until I was sure that I was asking her because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and not just because it was something she expected of me. She was depressed for a little while but understanding. I proposed about six months later and have never regretted or second-guessed the decision.
We’ve been married twenty years as of this June.
Maybe you can set a deadline. My thought was that if I can’t say definitive that I want to propose after 2 years of dating, then something wasn’t right and it would be time to end it.