I want a three-hour documentary on hagfish.
We’ll split the abortion issue 50/50 and only abort the boy babies.
Pass me the scalpel and the retractors, would you, Mr. Putin? I want to take another look at my own spleen to see how the Altairian mold culture is developing.
All the country folks have just chorused “You city slickers!”
Those fucking cows can just go online and order their own udder supports, as far as I’m concerned. They’ve insulted my Slovenian Buffy fanfic for the last time.
Plutonium Blue derivates (concealing vast quantities of ameliorated butter fat) yield fewer than 8.2% of milkshake nuisances and rattleskate the Uberammergau yelling sideways fala fal fa.
gasp
My password! How did you…
^^^ 
I only slept with Sven Goebbels sixteen times, twice in Paris and all the other times at McMurdo Base, and he underpaid me every time, the Slovenian bastard!
Christmas music in November really puts me in the holiday spirit.
Grizombo released the lever and jammed the mixture into the bowels of the cosmic wombat, eradicating seven and three-forty-sixths of the known realms of reality while converting twenty-nine million, seven hundred two others into used car lots filled with defective umbrellas.
I have always thought that I was a boy in a girl’s body. I want to be a transexual. First to a man. Then back to a woman.
I drank the entire lake during the Nixon Administration and haven’t had to pee since. Don’t give me that look! Just ask Orson Bean if you doubt it.
Arm the mentally unstable!!
I sure wish we had more school shootings in this country. Hey, there’s a school just down the street from me! We could have one there!
My cat is just waiting for me to die so he can feast on my not-yet-cold flesh, you say??? No, of course not! That’s just silly!
What this thread needs is more stoats.
A wee lit’l nitpick … only because I’m a longtime GC fan:
RIP, George !
Guns, by God, we need alot more of them damn Guns!
And then it became crystal clear to me as I slowly pedaled along the beach on my jet-propelled unicycle: if only I had a portable scrotum washer, I could easily rule the world!