SDMB, give me strenght ´cause I´m fessing up to her...

At this moment I´m writting to a friend I´ve known for the last 3 years how much I´d like to take our relationship to the next level, my insecurity is tearing me appart and head is spinning. I´d be hearthborke if this letter backfires and I end up loosing such a good friend, but I can´t hold it anymore, I´ve got to tell her and be done with it.

Now, to make this a bit interactive, how do you come around taking the leap of faith needed to take friendship to love?

First of all, declarations of this sort should really be done in person, not in a letter.
Secondly, have you made any physical advances that have been well received? I’ve just had a relationship end where my physical contact was not reciprocated, a sure sign that the other person is just not interested…and I’m talking something as simple as a touch on the arm, a peck on the cheek…not groping!
Third, good luck. Leaps of faith are often rewarded.

ACK, I hit submit… alea jacta est

I´d would have wanted to say this in person, but both of us have horribly busy agendas; we don´t see each other very often.
My insecurity stems for the mixed signals I´m getting from her, one day she hints me towards a relationship, other days she seems to keep her distance. I can´t stand going around any longer; so I take my chance here and now.

I´m even crossing my toes at this momtent. :eek:

I have mentioned this bit of wisdom in other threads, but I really think that it is worth repeating. As my grandmother lay on her deathbed, succumbing to cancer, she passed on some very important wisdom to me that informs most of the choices that I make. What she told me was that when you are dying, and you look back on your life, it is not the things that you tried and failed at that you regret. It is the things that you never tried. In other words, go for it. The worst that could happen is that you are rejected. Contrast that with the best that can happen. :slight_smile:

Exactly what I expressed in a part of my letter, that I rather regret things that I´ve said that regret I´ve never said them.

Shooting positive rays towards you Good luck.

Go for it, my man. Best of luck to you.

I had a situation very similar to this. I happened a little more spontaneously over AOL, but, well, two years later, we’re still together and very, very happy. Go get her, tiger :slight_smile:

Go for it! Best of luck and all that.

Drone’s Gramma was right. You ALWAYS regret what if’s.

You do realise you now have a duty to report back what her answer is, for better or for worse. No disappearing!

shooting my 1920’s style good luck ray at you

"I´d would have wanted to say this in person, but both of us have horribly busy agendas; we don´t see each other very often."

Dude, re-examine your priorities. MAKE a time and opportunity to do this in person, not by letter.
Hint: If she does like the idea, you seriously want to be there when she gets your message… :wink:

Good luck!

Wow, I know how scary and yet exhilarating it can be to have this kind of talk with someone. Good luck, man. No matter how it turns out, you definitely deserve some respect for having the courage to do this.


If you can’t take the time to go look her in the face with this. . . . I gotta wonder.
It has been my experience that when you have something difficult to say, the best thing to do is just say it. Don’t waffle, hint, or beat around the bush, just do it.

But the thing is, you have to go to her.
I wish you all the luck in the world.

Well, of course, for good or bad I´ll report back.

JCoM Yes, I would have prefered to say it in person; I would have stuttered, babbled and fumbled like a drooling idiot, but still… :slight_smile:

That makes it better. Good luck!

No reply so far… =S

Even if one is overjoyed by such a revelation, sometimes the object of affection needs time to figure out how they feel and what to say.

You did run spell check before you sent it, didn’t you?

Hope it works out for you. But I really think you should have told her in person. I hate it when guys ask me out via letters, their friend, or even msn.

Just to let you know it can work out though. I was friends with my boyfriend for a few years before we became a couple. We have now been together over a year.

You do mean postal mail, and not e-mail right? Because e-mail is so tacky.