OMGosh olivesmarchh4th what terrible timing. You’re probably both just hanging on. I’m so sorry.
IIRC you’ve spoken before about how you want to move—might this be a time to give it serious consideration?
WhyNot I’m glad you were with your mother when the stroke happened and that she’s basically doing all right. Sounds like you “snap to” in a crisis. (Must be your training.) Unload on us when you need to.
Really, please do get some legal counsel, Ruby and let us know how things are going.
Today I feel scattered so I’m trying to be careful about decisions here at home. The drama surrounding our financial state is getting so tiresome that I just want to chuck it all, but I’m trying to work on the small, immediate things rather than deal with the whole picture.
when I’m having a day I can get out of bed I read, watch shows, surf the net, stalk wildlife (i live in the country on a lake) with my camera, watch my idiot redneck neighbors and make fun of them)…and some days I just stare blankly at fugly wallpaper.
Got my rejection letter today. Damn, that would have been a good job. There was someone else “slightly more suitable to the role.”
There is always someone else slightly more suitable. Slightly younger, slightly stronger, slightly more experienced, slightly less foreign, with a significantly smaller gap in their job history (getting ever wider as I repeatedly fail to get a job).
I wish I could justify lying down and giving up entirely. But there are just enough people I’ve promised that I wouldn’t do that, so I can’t. I have to keep struggling on no matter how hopeless it feels, no matter how useless I feel, no matter how frustrating and discouraging and painful it is.
I’m sorry I haven’t been responding to the troubles of others in this thread. I’m reading and hoping for your lives to improve, but I just can’t summon the energy and words to contribute.
I’m so tired.
Damn, Olives, we’ve all really been pulling for you and the hubster. I have no platitudes, only an extra voice to add to this “This Totally Sucks” chorus.
Thanks. For some reason I’m handling this unusually well. We’ll see if it lasts.
Dunkelheit, try to look at it like this: your place hasn’t been filled yet, the one you are best suited for.
Hi everyone, I’ve been lurking on this thread and think it’s the best thread on SDMB. I love how you’re all so supportive of each other. I don’t have depression, but my Mom does and has been in various phases of it and on different meds most of her adult life. It’s really hard to watch this intelligent, cheerful woman not want to even get out of bed sometimes. 
So my empathy is with all of you!
I thought I’d let you guys know what’s worked for her. Perhaps you’ve had this discussion before, elsewhere on the board maybe, but 50mg of 5-HTP per day has worked better than any of the known medications she’s taken. She’s on an even keel emotionally, sleeps better and is much more enthusiastic about life in general. She still has her moments of depression, she’s not on a high or anything, but I’d call them the normal things that get non-depressed people down, then get over. In other words, life.
I’ve been hesitant to recommend 5-HTP as it hasn’t been that well-tested. WebMD says not to take it at all! So please, please do your research, particularly if you’re on any medications. There are interactions with SSRI’s as they both elevate serotonin:
But a quality brand! Some brands didn’t do anything at all for her, but Healthy Origins worked well. It might take some trial-and-error to find one that works. It took about ten days for her to notice a difference.
Please feel free to discuss and shoot down my recommendation! Like I said, I was hesitant to post it. But maybe it will help someone like it helped my Mom particularly if you’re low-income and are having trouble affording care.
Olives, I’m so sorry your husband didn’t get the internship. I know how hard the two of you guys were hoping. 
Then to get the news about your job. Crap.
Dunkelheit, have you considered selling your creations on Etsy? I’m amazed at what you can do with scraps! I lack a single creative gene so I really admire creativity in others. People are hyper-aware of recycling, re-claiming, re-using that I think you have a really unique angle with your incredible, tiny works of art. I haven’t sold on Etsy, only eBay, but I have a friend that’s pretty experienced and I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t mind you asking all kinds of questions.
Why Not, thank goodness you were with your Mom.
I’m so sorry, Dunkelheit I don’t know what to tell you to make you feel better, so hug
I met with my new counselor, today. I like her- she seems like she really cares, not like some others I’ve seen.
I told her I’m more comfortable writing than talking, so we are going to use journaling as part of my treatment plan. My homework is to come up with a list of the most important things about myself and my life that need “fixing”(that was my word, not hers). She isn’t available next week, so I have two weeks to do it. I’m afraid my list will be too long!
ETA: Welcome Helena330!
Since the htp stand for hydroxytryptophan, I thought I would mention that you can also get L-tryptophan at health food stores too. Since there are more steps between l-tryptophan and your body’s synthesis of serotonin than between 5htp and serotonin, I doubt it’s going to work anywhere near as well if at all, but since it’s one of the 9 essential amino acids, as long as you don’t have any health issues (especially kidney problems) and don’t go crazy with it (can make you too sleepy to drive), it should be safer.
Welcome. 
I continue to be in a stable mood, but Sr. Olives is moping around the house. It’s so hard to see him so down all the time, it occurred to me how incredibly difficult it must have been for him all these years being a support to me. He has always been so mentally resilient it’s very heartbreaking to witness, and I just don’t know if I will have the same strength that he has all this time. Oh, well, as long as at least one of us is sane, we’ll get by! We’ll just have to take turns.
Ms. Pumpkin, glad to hear things are off to a promising start.
Dunkelheit, aww, I’ve been there and wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I was unemployed for 10 months after I graduated with my shiny new Master’s degree and for someone with clinical depression to face constant rejection in a situation with no structure… it was awful. I came damned close to killing myself, but then I started to realize how much even entertaining the thought was affecting my husband and the people who loved me, and I decided to take suicide off the table forever. I got through it, and I know you will too. Remember, this isn’t forever. It just feels like it.
I wish I knew where that was, so I could apply for it.
The thought has crossed my mind, but I don’t know the first thing about it. If your friend wouldn’t mind, could you PM me her address? The only real concern I have is that it would interfere with our benefits in a bad way. Any money I earned above ten pounds a week would be deducted from our benefits, and if I worked more than 16 hours a week we’d lose the benefits entirely. I couldn’t sell enough to make up that kind of shortfall, especially given how long it takes to make them. To get just an hourly minimum wage, I’d have to charge upwards of £50 for the smaller items, and over £100 for the larger ones.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. Have a fluffy, sparkly, healing wing hug back. {{{{Ms. Pumpkin}}}}
Thanks. I’ve been unemployed for 4 1/2 years and looking for 3, since I got permission to work here. It seems to get harder with each rejection.
Aw hell, fluffy, sparkly, healing wing hugs for all.
{{{{{{SDMB}}}}}}
I feel terrible, knowing the suckiness that you and your hubby are going through, but this made me giggle.
Thanks- I was so nervous going in that I feel like I achieved a goal just by showing up, and not letting my anxiety escalate to a panic attack, you know? Teeny baby steps.
Came back for a group hug.
Wow, what a week. Talked to an attorney who decided to not take my case since his caseload was too full…?
Then my ex attempted suicide on Friday. She’s going through a breakup, is flat broke until the first of the month, and feels completely and totally worthless.
I’m going to crawl in a hole now.
Good grief! Just remember to crawl back out, ok?
Did the attorney at least put you in touch with a colleague who might be able to help you?
Ms. Pumpkin I think I’ll try a “fix-it” journal too! I’ve tried the gratitude journal but am too pissed, dark and grumbly to keep it up.
Dunkelheit, may I ask what made you decide to move to Scotland? And is it what you expected?
I moved here to be with PaulParkhead. I certainly didn’t expect to still be unemployed at this point. Otherwise, I didn’t really have any expectations as such, except “Hey, UK! Cool!” Which yeah, it is, except for the lousy economy. 
Group hug for everyone who’s struggling! I know some of you have it worse than I do right now, and I hope things start looking up for you soon.
{{{{{{Dopers}}}}}}