If it’s not permanent, it’s not really slavery…more like indentured servitude. In that case, how long do I get them?
I don’t really care how wonderful they are, all I want one for is as another source of income and to help my wife in her wifely duties so she has more time for other wifely duties. 8^)
Humbly requesting to sign up for the male slave auction, mistress.
I bid $2412.00, roughly one month’s take-home pay, on SexyWriter.
If my bid wins, first I’ll put her in a collar and break her to the lash (of course), then get her started on the chrome removal.
poohpah chalupa, I’m pretty sure there’s no such thing as a bazillion.
The lash thing I can handle, but I have a feeling “chrome removal” might be a hard limit. That’s GOTTA hurt.
-L
Woo hoo! Going once, going twice…
-L
SexyWriter:
Did you not earlier brag:
If you’re now stating you’re other than advertised, I may have to withdraw my bid.
No, no! I was making a joke! A JOKE! You know…ha ha, that was really funny, Laura.
Your comment sounded like you were going to put a collar on me and then remove my chrome. While I don’t actually have any chrome plating on my body, but I figured if I did, it would probably hurt to have it removed.
I DO have a stainless steel piercing, which I assume can be equated with chrome in some ways. It was closed with jewelers pliers, so I suppose it would hurt to have it removed.
Get it?
I certainly hope lame jokes aren’t a good reason to retract a bid.
Czarcasm
Sigh. You folks aren’t getting into the proper spirit of things here. Chocolate? wine? Slippers? That way lies madness.
You pamper your slave like that and she’ll start thinking she’s your equal. That will lead to disobedience, followed by punishment, which will seem harsher than it is because you’ve let her grow unaccustomed to it. A happy slave is one who knows her place.
Should dpr accept my bid for SexyWriter, I promise her only three things: food, shelter, praise and affection when she’s good, and swift, firm discipline when she gets out of line.
SexyWriter:
Very well then. My bid stands.
Although after I complete my transaction with dpr, I will of course want to inspect your piercing, and decide whether to remove it or add others. You understand (not that it matters whether you understand).
Can’t I have the discipline anyway? Must I get “out of line” first?
I notice “clothing” isn’t in the list.
-L
The foul-mouthed girl from Chicago is worth a bit more than a couple of Monster’s well-used sheep. How 'bout then entire nation of Iceland? There are well over 300,000 sheep there, producing millions and millions of dollars of Icelandic wool.
Someone with Nym’s temperament would also love the volcanoes, geysers, and glaciers.
And all the money she makes owning every sheep in Iceland can help to offset the obscene liquor tax. 
So are we going on a trip?
(scribble, scribble scribble…)
Here’s a blank check. Just make sure the amount on it is $5.00 more than whatever Esprix offers for Matt_mcl!
When can I pick him up? Or do you deliver? Does he have his papers and medical records?
All right, seems my dinner, wine and massage and one of my platinum cards (and being the first to bid) has had almost exactly no effect, so…
I am once again bidding on all three lovely ladies, Ms. Writer may include herself at will.
My bid is this:
The secrets of The SDMB Rosetta Stone. More power is not to be had. A greater find has never been unearthed.
My services, for which may charge as you please, as an Industrial and Systems Engineer, ISO/QS-9000 auditor, SQA consultant, NASCAR driver (unofficial), sharp-shooter (9/10 up to 800 yards), cook and all around modest guy.
Finally, I offer a free flight (on Delta). Travel permitted, IIRC, anywhere in the contiguous 48 States, Mexico and the Caribbean.
For the wonderful women, allow me to proffer this:
I’d simply like to remind you that I have certain talents which I am more than happy, and very willing, to share. Some information you may want to check out before you make any hasty decisions. No sense being pointlessly mingled with someone that will leave you wanting. This should benefit both of us, no?
[sub]And let’s not forget we’ve got a Dopefest this weekend…[/sub]
Thinksnow, your offer sounds wonderful. I would like nothing more than to spend time with a man like you.
However, I think you’ve missed my point in offering myself as a slave. Please see my comments re: discipline. 
-L
After reading some of SexyWriter’s other posts, I’ve decided to get in on the growing bidding for her. I’ll through in the top bid, plus 10%, plus a very bad book on C programming (I’ve wanted to get rid of it for a while) and some pilfered office supplies.
SexyWriter, I’ve got all sorts of discipline secrets, and will break you to the whisper ( lashes are for wimps ). Getting you to quiver everytime you see me will take some doing, but I’ve got time.
Oh, and my offer includes clothes. Well, sort of…
Although this seems to have turned into a SexyWriter-a-thon, I thought it’d be worthwhile jumping in with a bid for her, too.
I’ll offer $1,000,000 (CAD), which works out to about $1.89 (USD) for charity (it’ll mean more if you pick a Canadian charity), and SexyWriter gets a free trip to Toronto and a hot weekend learning the pleasures of Discipline (no need for excuses here!).
(And, theotherangel, if you’re reading this, yes, you can play with her as well… I did promise!)
SexyWriter:
Of course clothing isn’t in the list. You are not permitted clothing. You are only a slave.
You sure like to talk, for a slave. If I reach an agreement with the OP (and lest you forget, this business is entirely between him and me; you have no say in the matter), the first order of business will be training you to speak only when you’re spoken to.
I guarantee this training will hurt you more than it does me. Is this clear?
Then we’ll get to work finding more suitable employment for that mouth of yours.
thinksnow:
She "may include herself? At will?!
thinksnow, you make me sad.
I certainly hope so.
Gosh, I almost feel like I’ve hijacked this thread with my deviance. Sorry about that! But thanks for the kind words. It’s very nice to feel so very wanted.
-L
:: checking pockets for extra loose change ::
Damn.
Oh, well …
[Edited by Eutychus55 on 03-08-2001 at 06:28 PM]
sticks head out
Um…anyone wanna buy me? I’m nice, honest!