**Kickstarter: As an investor, what’s in it for me?
Aaaghh! Dead mouse in my water softener salt tank! What to do?
**
Next time, don’t sign up for the “Dead mouse in a water softener” Kickstarter.
**Is this a crime and if so what crime?
Impersonating law enforcement **
Yes it is and that’s what it is.
** Obligatory thread: Monkey in fabulous coat found alone at Toronto IKEA
Please remind me why I should not contact my ex.**
Well, it’s not as if she was caught shopping at Big Lots.
**Customers called “Fat Girls” on receipt at restaurant
Is this waitperson behavior presumptuous or helpful? **
I hope this waitperson doesn’t expect a tip.
**Call me a skeptical asshole, but…
Fuck Christmas
**
What would you order for your last meal?
What would you like on your tombstone?
I’d have to give a last meal order some thought, but I’m pretty damn sure that it won’t involve crappy frozen pizza.
** What If We Were All Reptiles?
Is therapy a scam?**
“You need to find your inner crocodile. That’ll be $200.” SNAP
**What’s this type of stock phrase called?
Laughter critical mass point **
**Call me a skeptical asshole, but…
Just give me my fucking money, already!
**
RIP Ravi Shankar
Paul McCartney to front Nirvana reunion
“John, George - Look who’s here!”
**How do I teach my pets not to sleep on our bed at night?
Where do all the cool cats get their ears pierced nowadays?
**
On your bed – DUH!
** We are in a contest to win an IVF with Dr. Sher at SIRM - Please Vote
please don’t ignore
Why do people act like it is never enough in parenting?**
** Is it true that nudity is more offensive than violence in America? If so why?
God and judgment**
** Executing someone with a full colon
In a right to work state …**
…wearing a red rubber clown nose?
**Questions about the Royal Prank call.
What If We Were All Reptiles?
**
You mean all of us, not just the royals?
**Forgotten slang from your childhood
Corrpt Mter Maid-What To Do?
**
More like forgotten vowels from your adulthood, amirite?
** What If We Were All Reptiles?
Hugo Chavez might be too sick to attend his own inaugural**
“I’m not going, I tell you…do you see the way they’re watching me?” “Doesn’t Hugo look tasty tonight?” (drool)
**Could your average physics professor design a hydrogen bomb?
How do I get rid of Drain Flies? **
Answer, meet question. 
**How much do I have to pay you to take Sheldon Cooper (Big Bang Theory) as your roommate?
Use Your Dalek Voice, Please.
**
Ex-ter-min-ate!
** So what happens if I’m completely tired of the Internet?
Thank God for Command Line
**