Lighten up. Geez. We’re just kidding around. Besides that, it says in my profile that I’m from Texas, not England.
Haha. They do sound pretty desperate, huh?
Are you male or female? It’s impossible to tell!! You’re quite androgynous. It boggles the mind.
Darlin’, this is the Pit. I call 'em as I see 'em. And I didn’t read your profile.
You don’t have to take my word for it…
Uncertainty between two possibilities is enough to boggle your mind? Shit, remimd me never to go shopping with you.
As for my gender…<chuckles>…lemme tell you something. I am not androgynous. My handle may be ambiguous, but my equipment ain’t. It’s all male down there.
And what’s with the three one-liners? Trying to pad your post count or something?
MR
Aah. You must be very lonely.
You don’t know the first thing about me. You have read a handful of my posts which perhaps say something about my online persona. Do not try to undercut what I am saying using a shoddy analysis of my life. Either say something witty, say something nasty using colorful language, or just keep quiet.
MR
I was just guessing. Maybe I’m right, judging from your reaction.
Mr. Pot, meet Ms. Kettle.
But when you fuck up and post something in the wrong forum and act like a ditz, you don’t want people to judge you to be a moron?
Yet you think I am lonely from a few of myposts. I think I am beginning to understand this now…
MR
I’ve actually only said one thing I meant to be rude, so you have no cause for trying to attack me. Yes, this is the Pit, but come on, it sounds like you have a lot of anger built up inside.
<sighs>
Feelyat, let’s break this down. I didn’t flame you when I stuck my red 'ol neck into this thread. I gently joshed Homer for gallantly coming to your rescue. What I said following that to you was in the spirit of my earlier comments. You said I was mind-bogglingly androgynous, so I responded in kind.
All in good fun, right?
Then came the kakagoria.
This is where it started getting personal. You assumed that somehow my words were exact mirrors of my feelings. Truth is, I don’t open myself up in front of 9000 some odd people on the internet. I post here to have some fun and a lot of engaging conversation. So trust me, there ain’t no way in hell you are going to be able to tell whether I am lonely or not from a handful of random posts. If I started a thread in MPSIMS called Why am I so fucking lonely?, that might be a more accurate barometer of my feelings.
Fact is, I am bored off my ass at work right now, and am writing to amuse myself. Last but not least, if I were trying to attack you, you would know. If I were angry at you, you would know.
Trust me.
MR
Then let’s both act like adults and drop it.
Drop what exactly? And how would that be acting like an adult? But if it makes you feel better, I don’t feel an overwhelming need to continue this discussion. I just want to see if Homer is offended that I called him desperate. 
MR
heh heh. You really are a funny guy. It will be fun to see how Homer reacts.
Nah, I don’t think so. I just have a good eye for human weakness and enjoy pointing it out in colorful ways.
Homer’s cool, too…I wonder if he will take the bait.
MR
I do, but I’ve been trying not to say any of the things I really think. It causes too many problems, and it hurts people’s feelings. I just say idiotic things like I did with you. Homer is quite a cool guy. He made me feel a lot better about some silly problems I was having. He’s witty.
Oh, another reason for not going for the throat: it’s harder to read people’s tones on message boards. And it’s more fun when you can actually see people’s reactions.
This might be a day late and a buck short, but I was joking about the brain dead thing, at least in reference to you. In general, though, it really does crank my dials. That may or may not also be a joke.
You dirty motherfucker. You stupid son of a bitch. How you dare come in here and start making judgements left and right about people you know nothing about? You are lower than the greasy, dead-fish smelling shit that oozes out of my ingrown toenail, and just like you, it won’t wash off with soap. I’ll bet you lay awake in bed at night masturbating over the fact that you ‘got a jab’ in on good ol’ Tim here. Well I’ll tell you what you motherfucker, I don’t think you’re very funny at all. Go back to Virginia and give your grandpa a handjob, at least then you’ll be doing something you’re good at, instead of pecking out these weak-ass flames that even my blind, deaf, aging dog who has a yeast infection on her back could write while writing in pain. You make me sick.
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I read the entire thread. Ya bastich! 
–Tim
Awwwww. Homer, you’re so cute when you’re mad. lol
Homer, that was real snarky, man. Well done, I must say! But I hoped you wiped your monitor good and clean when you were done. 
Regards,
MR