It was a joke, I wasn’t recommending he ask a woman for her BMI on a first date.
At this point in my life I’m pretty much ok with my mediocre success with women. Its fairly liberating.
According to **cg16 **they were asking 3 kinds of questions.
[ul]
[li]what I do for a living[/li][li]what I drive[/li][li]What are my career goals[/li][/ul]
Its pretty obvious they are asking him how much money he makes, or plans to make in the future because it is socially inappropriate to ask for a W4 and paystub on a first date. They are treating him like an object rather than a human being. He has a right to be upset. That is what I meant by my non-serious retort, turn the tables and ask the woman questions that make her feel like an object.
It’s not important to life for every man to create new life.
My point was that you can make generalizations about men and women. This idea that we are all totally unique is not close to accurate. We are all homo sapiens designed by evolution, and there is a lot of consistency in what men and women find attractive.
I’m not saying every woman thinks she can get Chris Hemsworth. I’m saying that women, in general, have a list of traits they look for in an ideal man (tall, handsome, athletic, famous, rich, respected, powerful, emotionally stable, intelligent, good communicator, etc. etc. etc) just like men have general traits they look for in women.
This idea that ‘you can’t generalize all men or all women because everyone is an individual’ isn’t totally true. You can create rough generalities that can be used as a decent rule of thumb (despite there being exceptions) since we are all members of the same species. People are individuals, but we are individuals within the same species that shares the same evolutionary history.
Maybe, maybe not, but she maybe all she wants to do is commiserate with you. She might ask why you hate it (because the reason might be interesting…annoying co-worker stories can be funny). She might want also to know what you plan on doing about your situation if you hate it so much. Are the kind of guy that is unwilling to consider other paths despite hating the status quo? Or do you make up for your sucky job by investing in a rich leisure life? It’s all in how you roll with it.
Not it’s not obvious. Other than asking him about his car, there is nothing invasive about asking about one’s job or career goals. In DC, questions like that are not only used to get to know someone, but they are also used to establish common ground.
A man doesn’t have to ask a woman what her age or BMI are to figure these things out early on, so your “turn the table” game is weak. All he has to do, you know, is open his eyes and look at her. Not questions needed to determine if she’s too fat for one’s taste.
But what I plan to do to get out of that awful job situation or my plans for the future is none of her business if we just started talking.
So what is her business at that point?
My likes and dislikes when it comes to
Food
Movies
Cities
TV shows
Ice cream
sports
Technology
I hope you provide that list to all the new people you talk with, prior to any significant conversation. It’ll save a lot of time and angst for all involved, if you do.
Why is it none of her business? You’re just talking.
If you want to talk about something else, direct the conversation to something else. Ask her what books she reads, or what her family does for Christmas, or something. The point of such a conversation is to fish around for things you have in common.
The point is sincere communication. Chicks dig that.
Regards,
Shodan
I;m all for that but just don’t want no woman asking me what I have in the first 5 minutes.
Then you laugh airily and say “Pater told me it is only the lower classes who talk about money” and ask if she noticed how terribly crowded Europe is this season.
Regards,
Shodan
Why is any of this information “more her business” than knowing what you do during the day?
BTW, just the thought of talking about ice cream and sports with a near-stranger makes me weep with boredom.
Unless she’s specifically asking about your salary, benefits and retirement plans, she’s not asking anything more than what do you spend your work day doing. In that question are all kinds of ways to answer, none of them need involve your bank balance. Are you an accountant or an artist? Office or outdoors? Do you work with people or machines? Is your job interesting or just a way to pay bills?
Not every woman is a gold digger trying to get her hooks into you. Some of us like guys enough to sleep with them just because they are charming and fun to be around. And, in a FWB relationship, if you are skilled and considerate partner, we might actually continue to sleep with you, just because of that.
That just made me snort tea out my nose.
I think I’ve been on that date.
Yeah, if you can fake sincerity, you’ve got it made.
Exactly. It’s a mistake to assume guys who couch surf and live off ramen noodles don’t get asked about their jobs either. They do…it’s just that their answers don’t disqualify them from getting attention from the women attracted to them. Because sometimes “what do you do for a living” is just a question, not a trap or a test or a ploy.
That’s funny because every time I talk to a recruiter, she asks me to have sex with her. Maybe we should switch?
Yeah… Here’s how I picture a date with you:
“So what do you do for a living?”
“NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!! I ONLY LIKE FOOD! AND BY FOOD I MEAN JUST ICE CREAM! I ALSO LIKE MOVIES AND TV SHOWS ABOUT ICE CREAM! AND ICE CREAM TECH! Sorry. I sometimes get excited about ice cream.”
“Uhhh…ok. Can we talk about something else then?”
“Sure. Do you want me to name every major city in the US and their sports team?”
Because they are asking so they can find out if you like your job which makes them feel you are making a nice salary. They are not asking because they have a genuine interest in what type of work you do.