Should I be mad at ride not showing up?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’m a bit pissed off so I thought I’d get some unbiased opinions.

A few weeks ago I answered an add for a walking buddy. I met the lady, she was nice enough but a bit odd and very old for her age (52). We went for a first walk and during the walk I realized that this wasn’t a good match for me. She said I could borrow her car after 15 minutes of meeting me :confused:.

She said that some other people had answered her add as well and she was going to meet them over the next few days. We finished out walk and said “bye” with no plans for another walk.

The next day she emailed me and I said that I was going to try some exercise classes after work instead of walking and that it was nice meeting her but I’m not going to be available as a walking buddy. She said that was fine, it was nice meeting me and take care.

Then last week she emails me about a walking clinic at the Running Room and wondered if I’d be interested in checking it out. I had actually just that day looked into the walking clinic and so I said “yes, I’d like to check it out”. I don’t have a vehicle and she lives only a couple of minutes away so she said she’d pick me up, which she did and we both decided that we’d like to do the 10 week clinic which has classes twice a week.

She said that she’d pick me up for the classes and I said “let’s work out how much you want me to contribute for gas” she said she was glad that I offered but having someone to go with and keep her motivated was enough and she didn’t need any money for gas.

This morning was the first class and we arranged for her to call me at 8:00 am to let me know she was heading out the door and on her way. She called at 7:43 but I was in the washroom getting ready so I missed the call because she was supposed to call at 8:00.

I got the message at 7:55 and called back, got her voice mail and said “got your message, we’re good to go, see you out front at about 8:10”. I went outside at 8:08 and waited. Called again at 8:16 and said “just letting you know that I’m out front waiting, see you in a bit”. Called at 8:25 “hope you didn’t forget about me!” Called at 8:35 and said “not sure what happened, I was looking forward to the class”.

I decided since I was up and ready to go for my own walk anyway.

I got a text from her at 9:45 saying “sorry, I didn’t hear from you and it was getting close to 8:00 so I just went to the clinic. I hope you’ll forgive me and I know you will, looking forward to the class on wednesday”.

The class starts at 8:30 on Sunday mornings and 6:45 on Wednesday evenings and takes about 7 minutes to drive there from my place.

I’m pretty annoyed. I paid $70 for the clinic. I’m torn because I don’t want to rely on someone who may or may not show up but I did really want to go to the clinic. My other options for getting there are walking, which will take about 45 minutes, biking which will take about 15 minutes and the bus which I don’t really feel like taking.

So I’m not sure what to do. Should I give her another chance? Chalk it up to lesson learned and forget about the whole thing? I’m pretty annoyed with her and I kind of don’t want to deal with her.

I don’t know. Opinions?

2

Depends on whether your phone calls went to her landline or to her cell. If it was a landline, she probably didn’t get your messages. Since you didn’t answer when she called, she probably thought you changed your mind, or that something had come up.

You spent $70. Give it another chance.

3

I don’t care if the person is a friend, an acquaintance, or if giving rides is their job. If they don’t show up after saying they will, that’s a problem. Unless they have a good excuse, there is no point in relying on them.

According to you, she said she would call to let you know she was on her way, not call and confirm that you were going. Assuming that is true, she failed on her job. Go ahead and give her a chance to explain, but, if you don’t like the explanation, give it up.

If it were the other way, I’d still call and ask her what happened, and see if she volunteers the excuse you had already made for her. Don’t just assume that what AuntiePam says is accurate.

4

It was her cell and she texted me from it once she was done the walk. She was supposed to call at 8 but she called at 7:43. That’s the only reason why I didn’t answer. I was really looking forward to it. :frowning:

5

Yes, you have a right to be pissed. Also, what does “very old for her age” mean?

6

Well I work with other ladies who are 52 and they don’t seem any older than I am. I’m 42. We go out for lunch and after work drinks and they’re a lot of fun. She seemed more like a granny.

7

I agree with BigT’s first sentence – just another flake, probably. I’d be a bit peeved in your shoes, but not surprised and just keep on walking.

Also, yes about her age – I didn’t know what you meant. Too old to enjoy walking? It was on her part a bit overshare about telling you about all her other walking buddies, as though she were trying to mentally calculate out loud to you what you’re worth to her on one end of a balance.

I would rethink making commitments to places/people you can’t get to yourself – “never walk into a place you can’t walk out of.”

8

Yeah, I tend to agree with BigT as well and that she probably is a bit of a flake.

Also agree about not doing things where I can’t get myself there.

9

I’d give her another chance. Everybody deserves a second chance.

10

It sounds like a misunderstanding. If I was heading over to pick someone up and they didn’t answer their phone, I guess I might think they weren’t going, though personally, I’d give it another try at the correct time before concluding that. You might as well give her one more chance, but leave enough time for yourself to bike there in case she doesn’t show.

11

She sounds a little like a flake and a little like she was insecure about your sincerity about joining her for the clinic. There was definitely some missed communication there, especially since you said for her to call at 8 to let her know she was on her way and she might have interpreted that as being there at 8, so she called you a little bit before to confirm that you were definitely going, haven’t changed your mind, and roaring to go as she pulls up to your house.

A few weeks ago, I had plans to meet a friend for dinner and the game plan was to meet her at her workplace and head to the restaurant together. I got to her workplace but she was finishing up her end of the day duties so I told her I’d hop across the street to do some errands and then meet her at the restaurant. She nodded and said okay so I went on my merry way. I got a seat at the restaurant and waited and waited and waaaaaaited. I was going to call her and see what the hell was going on but then saw that my phone had ran out of battery. I thought maybe her manager had kept her with some last minute project that she always says yes to so I went back to her workplace and saw that she’d left already. Then I started to get worried because she might have had an emergency, gotten run over by a car, a myriad of things, so I went back out to try to find a payphone (no lucky) and try to remember her number (no dice). I ended up finding her on the street and she said she’d been wandering up and down it wondering where the hell I was for the last hour.

Turns out she hadn’t heard me when I said I’d meet her at the restaurant and assumed I’d come back to her workplace. So why did she nod and say okay if she hadn’t heard me?!? Geeeeez. I was annoyed and hungry by then. Not quite pissed off but still… communicate better, will ya woman? At any rate, the next time we got together we were able to make a joke out of it.

The only caveat here is that I was actually friends with her so there are plenty of reasons not to dismiss her based on one incident. For you, OP, I would say give it another chance, but be prepared to hop on your bike if need be. No point in wasting $70.

12

What goes on at a “walking clinic” anyway? Are there walking techniques taught, and if so, what the heck could they be?

13

I don’t think I’d give her another chance at driving, either. You thought she was a bit odd at first meeting, then this weirdness (it might have been a mis-communication, or she just doesn’t play well with others) - I think I’d just bike over there and not rely on her for a ride.

14

It sounds like a miscommunication to me, and I’d have no problems going with her next time, as long as we had a chat that cleared up the miscommunication (i.e, you say you’ll be outside your front door AT 8, no need to call, or something like that). Misunderstandings like that can happen to anyone

On the other hand, if I thought someone was a bit weird and I didn’t really enjoy being around them, I’d not accept a lift with them, so I also understand wanting to pull the plug. Consider it a learning experience in that case, but I don’t think you can blame the wasted clinic cost on her

15

She told me that she would call me at 8:00 to let me know she was heading out the door.

I think I agree. I’ve decided that I don’t want to rely on someone who may or may not show up so I’m going to tell her that I don’t need a ride anymore.

16

I’m curious, too.

17

“OK, let’s try again. Remember to alternate left-right-left-right, etc.”

18

At this walking clinic there are two weekly classes. The class on Wednesday evening is instructional with guest speakers who talk about nutrition, walking for heart health or weight loss, injury prevention etc and then a walk. The Sunday morning class is just the walk.

The leader maps out the walking course and extends it a little every class with the goal of walking 10 k in an hour at the end of 10 weeks.

19

Daaaayum, that is super serious walking! like 6MPH +!

20

10K in an hour less than 10 minutes/mile. Is this racewalking?