Should I be worried about my GF?

In My Humble Opinion
81

slow clap

You did exactly what needed to be done.

The hardest part is over.

The second hardest part is going to be to hold your head up, go on living well, having fun with your friends, and meeting new people.

There are tough times ahead, but it gets better, minute by minute, and day by day. A month from now, you may still be hurt/sad, but your won’t be as hurt/sad as you are right now. Three months from now, you may still be hurt/sad, but even less so. If you were to graph it out, there would be a detectable positive trend.

82

This. Don’t wait for her, you need to live your life. Even if you’re just pretending like you’re not waiting for her to call at any second, you need to buckle down with the pretending and get stuff done. I know it hurts a lot right now, but it’d hurt worse if you had let this go on for ages and she got in even deeper.

And what the others said - you did something very mature there, and you are strong enough to pick up your heart and your life.

83

Another heart-felt ‘well done’ from me sir. It may well be one of the hardest conversations you ever have for many, many years. Trust me - we’ve all been there at one point or another, and you came through far better and stronger than most of us.

Some years from now, you’ll be glad you broke it off when you did, when you can still have fond memories of your time together, vs waiting/clinging on to the bitter end when all you’d end up with was painful memories.

And as Bam Boo Gut said - you didn’t put yourself through this to now sit around and ‘wait’ - she’s moved on and so should you! Go out, do things, meet people. If she shows up again, great; you can re-evaluate things when and if that happens.

84

What you did was incredibly mature, well done.

85

Wow, man. Good call. No matter what happens next, it’ll be for the best. Hopefully she comes back! If not, trust that the hurt will subside as time goes on.

86

your girlfriend is playing with fire - literally. this harmless friendship is also providing her with emotional support and I’m sorry to say but if it keeps up you’re not going to have a girlfriend around for much longer - I should know this, I’m a girl who has been in that situation before

edit - I just read the update - good for you and I’m sorry you’re going through this

87

I generally try to be more optimistic about these things, and mostly side with drewtwo99, but having had similar experiences, I’m leaning pretty hard towards some of the other opinions in the thread saying this isn’t looking good. I’ve been there, and it’s highlighted by naively letting yourself become the doormat, while you fish for any good thing(s) which may represent the relationship, as you want to see it.

Sadly, many of the signs are there, including the manipulation and disregard for your feelings, as well as pushing reasonable boundaries of acceptable behavior while you two are sharing time. Having an issue with the above quote isn’t about controlling, at all-- that’s just basic decency and respect for any person you’ve invested time in, especially someone you’re intimately committed to.

Opposite this, she may not be completely aware of what she is doing, but given it sounds like you’ve expressed yourself and expectations quite reasonably, it may be time for a hard lesson-- not to be spiteful, but for your own well-being. As DragonAsh stated earlier, I think it’s time to create some space and wean yourself off of her a bit…it’s healthy, lends you some perspective, and you’ll also do what she is doing, and get to know people. This will also help to address some of your insecurities, by removing eggs from your SO basket, while placing you in control of your life. None of this should be directed at her, because it’s not about her; she has revealed an opportunity to grow and get yourself together.

Keep the lines of communication open and don’t do anything malicious, but in times like these, it’s okay to be conscious of your needs and take care of yourself. You deserve better and someone would jump at the chance to have a committed partner who’s willing to grow and communicate, as you have (not that she isn’t, but perhaps taking care of yourself will remind her).

Additional: Just read your latest update, and it looks like you’ve done what was necessary. It’s incredibly hard, but in the end, you’ll find that it was the right thing to do. This isn’t even to say that things will go south, but you’ve established yourself as someone who has earned respect, and if she is smart enough to recognize it, she’ll keep sight of this and make the reasonable changes.

Thanks to you, you’ve given both of yourselves a chance to grow, whatever the outcome. Hoping for the best. thumbsup

88

It’ll be a tough few weeks, but you’ll get through it. We all do.

As painful as it is, letting her go was the best thing in the world for you. It was a toxic relationship for you and would have only caused you more and more pain. Time for you to broaden your horizons, find new interests, explore friendships with other people, and revel in the fact that youth and time are on your side.

Remember that the best antidote for heartbreak is time and space. Quit tracking her movements and/or waiting for her phone call. Get out of the house. Work out. Move on.

Good luck.

89

QFT.

90

Question (and forgive me if it’s already been asked and I missed it), but if the OP’s girlfriend is back with her parents, how can she have no friends still? Where are all of her childhood friends?

91

Cbud92, You handled things better than I probably would.

My only advice is to get out of bed and other things to get back to your new normal. Maybe go for a long run, bicycle ride, or a brisk hike in the woods. Something that will really wear you out physically. Such activities seem to clear out my mind and make me feel better. Repeat as necessary.

Oh! If she does decide to come back, realize that this is probably a new beginning for both of you. While not starting from scratch, you certainly not in the same phase of the relationship that you thought you were before she started texting the other guy.

92

Dude, you dumped your girlfriend because of your own insecurity. You also pulled the biggest chick move by giving her the ultimatum, you or him. If you were going to break it off, you just should have broken it off. It’s clear that you aren’t really ready for a long term relationship…and probably she’s not either.

Date around, fuck around, grow up before you get back in a LTR.

93

Give him a break, dude.

Well done, Cbud92. You handled it way better than I ever could’ve with more courage than I’ve ever had. Please come back and let us know how things work out!

94

You did what you had to. She erased all her text messages because she had something to hide. I would have hit it like a champ one last time right before ending it. Then she’ll feel twice as bad when Mr. pansy pseudo-boyfriend can’t hit it right. Every time she’s porkin him she’ll be thinking of you. That’s how you win these battles my friend.

95

Right. Cuz bitches, they never be thinkin’ about the other dude when they’re doin’ you, dog.

96

I’d like to take this opportunity to make it VERY clear that Stringbean and I are not related in any way, shape, or form.

97

Are you, or are you not, both legumes? :dubious:

98

They’re both runner beans with funny names!

99

Man! This thread brings back some horrific memories!

Cbud92, I was pleasantly surprised that you took the bull by the horns and ended the relationship. At least, I hope you ended the relationship. It doesn’t really sound as if you ended the relationship.

Dude. Don’t do or say things just for the sake of making your partner do or say something in response. That’s controlling. That’s dishonest. And it pretty much never works the way one hopes it will, and ends up exacerbating any situation.

Do or say things because that is exactly how you feel, regardless of what the response will be (disclaimer: this doesn’t apply to how she looks in her new jeans).

You have just broken up with her. You two are no longer together. You will not be getting back together. The End. Move on. Now. Not in a couple of days, or a week. Right now.

I guarantee you, if you get back together with this girl, the hurt of your eventual breakup will be even worse, because it won’t work out.

100

Sorry, Pal, she has already made her decision. The only question is when, if ever, she will let you know, verbally.