4.5 months isn’t long if it’s a casual relationship with little emotional investment. This sounds like it was more serious than that, so it actually would be a significant event. I agree it needn’t have been a long, soul-baring explanation, but it would require SOME explanation, as opposed to “I don’t want to see you any more” or, God forbid, ghosting.
I don’t get a sense of drama from the OP. He sounds like a compassionate guy with a dilemma that’s now resolved.
When you are breaking up, the only thing you owe the other party is absolute clarity: we are breaking up. It is over. I am not resposible for how you feel about that, because we have broken up.
But I don’t see that blaming the kids is cruel. On the contrary, telling a single mother that you don’t get on with her kids is the one thing likely to make her glad that she’s not hooked up with you, relieved that she’s dodged a bullet, disgusted that she ever thought she liked you.
Who ever believes you when you say their kids are awful?
Don’t be so quick to judge. Her problem could very well be that their father walked out on them and never came back. Her problem could be that her mother (the grandma) is an opiod addict. Her problem could be that she opted for a low-paying career so she could stay home with the kids more, but never planned to be a single mother.
Sometimes kids are out of your control; they’re people too.
I was there, once. I dated a single mom when I was just 19. Sure, she was poor and a drunk with bad life skills, but she let me have SEX with her! :smack:
I finally broke it off when she called me at 4 am because her other love interest was fighting in her living room and was going to beat her up. I called the cops and went over there at the same time. They separated us, and lectured me about how I’m too young to be getting caught up in “all this.” They said if I came back, they’d arrest me.
So I left. She called me and bitched me out for getting cops involved. Apparently what she really wanted was for me to fight the other guy and then devolve into a threesome.
Yeah. I made the same face you’re making now, a mix of :dubious:, :eek:, and 
but not 
. I never went back.
So in summary…don’t do that.
You kidding? That’s the perfect time! You get Christmas presents but still get to make out with a stranger at midnight!
Depending on how the message is conveyed - if calmly and reasonably delivered, it may very well indeed be believed, yes.
See, you get it! 
But what do you mean, “a” ?
1 - The father committed suicide (10 years before I met her), so sorta true.
2 - The grandma was abusive, and definitely had a hand in fucking up this woman I dated. The grandma has been dead for about 2-3 years now however.
3 - Definitely.
4 - Without a doubt.
So, I’d say you got three out of four. Her messed up family was part of it too, though. Her dad living 10 miles away didn’t want to see his grandkids on Christmas enough to either invite them over or drive over to see them. (Like I said before, given how these kids were, I can sort of understand, except it was CHRISTMAS, they are his GRANDKIDS. I mean, not even one hour?!) Her brother, by her own accounting, is “drunk all the time and very negative.” I realize people are not their families, but she didn’t really think anything was amiss with any of this, or have any perspective on it. The more I learned, the more I got the urge to RUN, FORREST, RUN!