Simpsons Short Quote about Love?

Trying to find something about love, from a Simpson’s episode, to pen onto the SDMB Valentines I’m sending out. Can you help?
Another Primate

I choo-choo-choose you?

“You remind me of a poem I can’t remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I’ve never been to.”
- Abraham J. (Grandpa) Simpson

“Can I borrow a feeling?
Could you lend me a jar of love?
Hurtin’ hearts need some healing,
Take my hand with your glove of love.”
-Kirk van Houten

Now, mods, would you please fix my mis-apostrophizing? Should be:
How embarrassing.

Now, mods, would you please fix my mis-apostrophizing? Should be:
How embarrassing.

If you want to go the melancholy route, there’s this great line from Lisa:

Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.

“Let that be a lesson to you Lisa. Never love anyone.”
“Even you?”
“Especially me.”

Homer to Lisa, talking about the Springfield Isotopes.

Here are a couple (do I get a card now?):

Grampa Simpson: Welcome home, son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail. What’s wrong with your wife?
Homer: Never mind, you wouldn’t understand.
Grampa Simpson: Flu?
Homer: No.
Grampa Simpson: Protein deficiency?
Homer: No.
Grampa Simpson: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?
Homer: No.
Grampa Simpson: Unsatisfying sex life?
Homer: N – yes. But please, don’t you say that word!
Grampa Simpson: What, seeex? What’s so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had seeeeex.
Smithers: People like dogs, Mr. Burns.
Mr. Burns: Nonsense! Dogs are idiots! Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over you, what would you say?
Smithers: If you did it, sir?
Dr. Nick: Seriously, baby, I can prescribe anything I want.
Bart: What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them – as is my understanding…

Lenny: Hey, Homer? What do I tell the boss?
Homer: Tell him I’m going to the back seat of my car with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes!
Maude Flanders: They were having S-E-X in front of C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!
Groundskeeper Willie: You’ve mastered a dead tongue. Now can ya handle a live one?
[Comic Book visits a dating service and grabs all the one-nighter presentation videotapes]
Clerk: Are you going to call all those women?
Comic Book Guy: No, the tapes will do just fine.
Homer: Marge, you’re my wife and I love you very much. But you’re living in a world of make-believe. With flowers and bells and leprechauns, and magic frogs with funny little hats.
Homer: I can’t live the button-down life like you. I want it all! The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my cocky stride and musty odors – oh, I’ll never be the darling of the so-called “City Fathers” who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about “What’s to be done with this Homer Simpson?”
[Lisa has been caught looking out the window at Nelson during band practise.]
Class: Lisa likes Nelson!
Milhouse: She does not!
Class: Milhouse likes Lisa!
Janey Powell: He does not!
Class: Janie likes Milhouse!
Professor Ludwig: NOBODY likes Milhouse!
Ranier Wolfcastle: The entire movie is two hours of me standing in front of a brick wall. It cost 80 million dollars.
Jay Sherman: [says with disgust] How do you sleep at night?
Ranier Wolfcastle: On top of a big pile of money, with many beautiful ladies.
Bill Clinton: I know you don’t think you’re good enough for me, but believe me, you are. Hell, I done it with pigs. Real, no-foolin’ pigs!
Doug: In episode 2F09, when Itchy plays Scratchy’s skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we to believe, that this is a magic xylophone, or something? Ha ha, boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.
Homer: I’ll field that one. Let me ask you a question. Why would a grown man who’s shirt says “Genius at Work” spend all of his time watching a children’s cartoon show?
[embarrassed pause]
Doug: I withdraw my question.
[starts eating a candy bar]
Comic Book Guy: Ack! There is no “emoticon” to express what I am feeling right now!
Smithers: I love you, sir.
Mr. Burns: Oh, hot dog. Thank you for making my last moments on earth socially awkward.
Bart: It looks like Santa’s Little Helper is trying to climb over his girlfriend but he can’t make it!
Lisa: [sobbing] I’m ugly, dad!
Homer: No you’re not. You’re cute as a bug’s ear.
Lisa: You have to say that; you’re my dad.
Homer: No I don’t.
[Grampa walks by]
Homer: Dad, am I cute as a bug’s ear?"
Grampa Simpson: No, you’re homely as a mule’s butt.
Homer: [to Lisa:] See?
Homer: Finally, a whole day without seeing Mindy.
[Elevator opens with Mindy Simmons inside]
Homer: AH! I mean HE-llo!
Mindy Simmons: Well it looks like we’re going to be going down together–I mean getting off together–I mean–
Homer: Don’t worry, I’ll just push the button for the stimulator–I mean elevator. Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts.

Six words. I’m not gay, but I’ll learn.

While were at it, does anyone have the philanthropy quote from last night’s episode? It was right after Flanders donated the $50,000, and the Texan came out and gave him $100,000.

-Munch, working on that philanthropy master’s

I want to open a bar and call it the Sex Cauldron.

“Son, a woman is like a…beer. She smells good, she looks good, and you’d STEP OVER YOUR OWN MOTHER JUST TO GET AT ONE.”

“I’m crazy as a craphouse rat for philanthropy! Yee-haw! Yeeee-haw!”

“Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life been without it?”

-Homer Simpson

“Dear Baby,
Welcome to Dumpville. Population—You.”
– Homer helps Bart write a letter, ``Bart the Lover’’

Bart: "How about, Crocodiles bit off my face.''" Marge: "That's disgusting! And besides, when a woman loves a man, it doesn't matter that a crocodiles bit off his face." Homer: "I may hold you to that, Marge." -- Bart the Lover’’

"Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why I cannot say. Where I am going you cannot know. How I will get there I haven’t decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind
blow it will whisper the name… Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. – Woodrow.’’

“P.S., I am gay.”

“A thousand poets could write for a thousand years and only describe but three-tenths of your beauty.”

Actually, the FULL quote goes like this:

Class: Lisa likes Nelson
Millhouse: She does not!
Class: Millhouse like Lisa
Janey: He does not!
Class: Janey likes Millhouse!
Uter: She does not!
Class: Uter likes Millhouse!
Mr. Largo: Shut tp! Nobody lieks Millhouse!

that’s one of those sequences that gets cuts down in syndication.

Really? I’d never heard of that before. Interesting!

Mr. Burns: “I want to be loved.”

Homer: “I see … Well, I’ll need some beer.”

A link