Okay, guys, I need prayers, good thoughts, and any helpful input you may have. My 15 yr. old daughter has been battling depression for about 6 months now. She has been seeing a counsellor during this time. Early on in her counselling, she met with a psychiatrist, because her counsellor thought she may be bipolar. The psychiatrist said she wasn’t, and he didn’t see the need for medication. However, the depression has gotten steadily worse. This past Tuesday, she ran away from home (was found, safe, late Wednesday morning). She saw her counsellor Wed. afternoon, and he arranged for her to come 3xper week, for her father and I to come with her every 3rd time, and for her to be re-evaluated by the psychiatrist in early January. She signed a non-suicide contract with her counsellor on Wednesday, but then on Saturday (yesterday), she took 20 Benadryls and 23 Sudafeds. Her father and I were not home at the time (we had planned a Christmas shopping trip, staying in close contact with her by cell phone, and this was all approved by her counsellor in a family session on Friday). We called her 9:30 Sat. morning (after leaving the house about 8AM), and she said she was feeling depressed, but was talking to her best friend, and we didn’t need to come home. We called at 10:30, and she said she was hanging in there. About 11:30, we got a call from a friend saying that she had taken the pills and was on her way to the hospital by ambulance. We hurried to the hospital, where they had given her a combination of charcoal and a laxative, and had her under observation. After about 9 hours of observation, they transferred her to a psych facility that’s about 80 minutes from here. Their best guess at this point is that she is clinically depressed and needs Zoloft or some such. Of course, she also needs to continue therapy.
So, what is your experience in dealing with clinical depression, either in yourself or a close family member/friend? Right now, I’m looking for all the information I can get.
I don’t really have any advice, just good luck. I was 15 when one of my best friends ODed on pills. I visited her in the hospital the next day, and she was incredibly upbeat and freakishly happy. A week later, she slit her wrists.
She survived, but eventually ended up cutting off all contact with our small and close group of friends in an effort to start over again. It was a very painful experience, and I can only offer my empathy, and best wishes that your daughter recovers fully and realizes how much you and your family love her.
If she’s in a good hospital, this intervention could make all the difference in the world. Unless there’s been some traumatic event that’s brought this on, her suicide attempt was based on screwy brain chemistry.
It’s not your fault. (Keep repeating.)
It’s going to be a long, hard road helping her pull herself out of that pit, but don’t forget all the people you have helping you pull.
((((norinew ))))
Your daughter sounds like me, a decade ago. I even took those same pills, along with a few others, in a suicide attempt.
Be there for her. Just be there. And don’t let her set foot out of the psychiatric ward until you and the doctors agree that she’s ready.
I was an adult when I attempted suicide, and thus being the case, my parents couldn’t make me stay in there. I should have. I’ve been lucky in that my life has been okay since I walked out of there, but…a lot of things would have been different, in a good way, if I’d stayed.
Again, just be there for her. She’ll need you more than ever now.
Feel free to email me if you like. And I could probably even hook you up with my mom, who may have even more insight as to what she felt like and went through when I made my suicide attempt.
Much love,
Cristi
The hospital that she’s in has a very good reputation, and we feel that she has an advantage in that, she wants to be there (meaning she wants to get help), and we want her to be wherever the best help is available. Obviously, we don’t have the resources to handle this ourselves, so we want her where professionals can handle it. I feel that, being there voluntarily, she has an edge over the people who are “ordered” there, by courts or whatever. Also, that particular hospital specializes in adolescent treatment, so hopefully they know what they are doing.
Teenage depression is just about one of the worst things that can happen to someone. So often, it’s just brushed off as “teen agnst.” I don’t know how many of my friends cut themselves/self-medicate with drugs and alcohol, and contemplate suicide.
I was lucky. Within a month or so of showing symphtoms (trouble sleeping at night, sleeping during the day, crying jags, apathy, panic attacks, etc.), my mother took me to a psychiartic evaluation, where I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety.
Medication has been such a help to me. There seems to be a stigma against it, at least among my friends (“Come on, Lindsay. Pills don’t do anything for you. It’s all in your head. The rest of us get along fine without pills.” Bull. Ruth smokes herself silly every day, Jeannie’s arms are covered in slash marks, Matt’s tried to kill himself at least 3 times…that doesn’t sound like being fine to me.)
It takes a while for it to start working, but it’s such a relief when it stops feeling like there’s an iron cage around your chest, when going to bed isn’t hours of tortured insomnia, when things like eating don’t seem like a chore anymore.
My best wishes go out to you and your daughter. I know how being depressed can make someone think that she isn’t worth anything. Make sure she knows you love her, that you don’t think any of this is her fault, and that it’s like being sick, and she will get better.
And make sure she likes her psychiatrist. No one wants to get help from someone they dislike.
Love and good wishes, Lindsay
Best wishes to your family, it takes time and is a slow process but being in the psych ward is best for her now till she is better. Stay active in her treatment if thats possible esp with patient confidentiality.
Be there, be positive, try really hard not to let her anger and inappropriate responses push you into an angry or condensing response. What everyone else has said also.
Be Well.
norinew, your daughter is exactly where she needs to be. Psychiatric units keep a close watch and are generally a very safe place for people with suicidal inclinations to be. The private mental health units are generally fairly cheerful places – not at all depressing themselves.
I am not a psychiatrist, but I am a long time survivor of clinical depression. The best thing that ever happened to me was medication. I take prozac and wellbutrin. It took about four weeks before I began to feel better. Some may take as long as six weeks. There may have to be adjustments in medication. Or it could be that medication is not what she needs.
Suicide threats and attempts should always be taken seriously.
There may be a lot of people who will want to tell her that she needs to get a better attitude. The problem is that if a chemical imbalance in the brain is causing the depression, then the brain is not going to be very good at developing a new attitude because it is temporarily “damaged.”
Your are not at all to blame, nor is your daughter. Clinical depression is NOT a character weakness anymore than diabetes is.
And there is so much difference in therapists!!! Does her counselor only work with the one psychiatrist? Is that the same psychiatrist that she has in the hospital?
For the last thirteen years, my therapy has consisted of one twenty minute session once a month. (When I went through a personal crisis, I was admitted to the hospital for about four weeks.) The focus in on the present and not the past. That is becoming more and more the standard treatment, I think.
But since your daughter is so young, continued counselling with someone that she trusts may be important. But once the medication kicks in, she may find that sufficient.
Depression is not just about sadness. And it is certainly not about self-pity. It is about feeling a sense of hopelessness. Often I have had trouble concentrating and everything had an unreal quality to it. Sometimes I would sort of withdraw into myself and just feel *nothing *. I had no energy and wanted to sleep all day. Those were some of the worst times. And no matter how many times I have had bouts of depression, I don’t always recognize it for what it is when it occurs again. (Usually I just think that the world is rotten and my situation is hopeless.)
If the medication works for her, she is probably going to be wondering why she ever considered suicide. Other solutions may be just as valuable to her.
Thank God she is living in a time when depression can be treated very successfully in most cases! But treat it with the attention that you would treat any other serious illness.
Bless you all!
Mirror Image, we were posting at the same time. You said it all!
One really important thing is that she has to realize not all medications are alike, and that if one doesn’t work, others well may. She needs to communicate her symptoms, side effects, and so on to the doctor, even if it’s something she might not feel comfortable talking about.
She’s still your same daughter. Don’t feel that you did something wrong or are a horrible person because she tried this - severely depressed people can seem to feel that others around them are wonderful and would be better off without them. And maybe there isn’t anything at all environmentally that’s causing the depression, as others have suggested.
My best wishes to your daughter and your whole family.
norinew…hang in there.
First and foremost, you are there for her. That’s the MOST important thing you can do. People that are depressed will shut you out, but don’t give up. In the long run it does make a difference.
I’m bipolar myself. I was incorrectly diagnosed as depressed for many years. This isn’t all the doctor’s fault, you generally show up in their office when you are depressed, not manic. Mania doesn’t always feel so bad at the time. I’m thankful to say I’m doing very well on my current med cocktail.
I just found out my 12 year old son(who’s always had ADHD) is manic depressive as well. I really wasn’t all that surprised. His mood swings are truly devastating.
So I can see the situation from both sides…I was a mentally ill kid and I HAVE a mentally ill kid.
I totally agree with everything Mirror has said above. I’m SO encouraged by the fact this is a voluntary hospitalization…it tells me she really WANTS to get well…this is not the action of someone who wants to die(and I’ve wanted to die). Take some credit for that. She has a great support system . But realise you have a loooooong road ahead of you. Strap yourself in.
And screw people that will poo-poo meds. I will tell you they literally SAVED MY LIFE. I would not be sitting here now typing this if it weren’t for mood stabilizers. Life was too unbearable. you have to give anti-depressants a few weeks to kick in, but when they do…it’s like when the Wizard of Oz goes from black and white to color.
Try to encourage her to mantain a routine. Sometimes this is easier than others, but it’s better physically and mentally if you maintain some sort of status quo.
Make sure she understands depression is a chemical imbalance that she has no more control over than a diabetic has over their blood sugar.
Don’t forget to give yourself a break too hun. If you don’t take of yourself…you can’t take good care of her. So take time to recharge your batteries.
Sending good wishes,
Kat the Witch
Feel free to email me anytime if you wish. I’m always available for a vent.
Just be there for her. When I told my mom I was depressed her response was to snort and say “What do you have to be depressed about?” She didn’t just leave it there, she made snide comments whenever the chance presented itself.
It didn’t help.
No matter what happens, just be there for her. Listen to her if she wants to talk. Don’t offer suggestions about how she can “get better.” That’s not your job. Listen, love, support.
I started showing signs of depression when I was a teenager. Regretably my family and friends didn’t catch it at that time. I battled depression for years without knowing what I was battling. I went nuts a couple years ago. I would hide from anyone and thought about suicide. It was hell. I got lucky and had my family and friends intervene and get me the help I needed.
Medication does help. It took me a while to find the right meds. At the same time talking to a shrink is also required.
I will tell you this, be very understanding with your daughter. My Dad never really understood my problem and to this day he still doesn’t get it and he drives me deeper into depression when I start getting bad. He means well but he just doesn’t get it. What usually happens is that I start feeling bad and the best way to deal with it is to talk to other people. Then Dad comes in saying “I really don’t understand and I want to help but you really need to …”. It’s all he says after the but that makes me feel worse.
For example, my apartment burned down a while ago. I lost one of my cats, Dagny, in the fire. I believe that Dagny got out but I don’t know. Anyway the other day they started to rebuild my apartment. I asked the foreman if they found my cat in the wreckage. He said that they didn’t find her. For what ever reason it set me off crying. I called my Mom but she wasn’t in. I got my Dad and he asked why I was calling. I told him the story and he said “Well, I understand but you should be happy because Dagny made it out. Feeling sad isn’t going to help. You need to put this behind you”. While my Dad means well his insistance that I should just buck up and be happy doesn’t help. Everytime my Dad says “You should” or “You need to…” it rings like a bell in my head. It implies that I am at fault and that if I were strong enough or something I could deal with it. It doesn’t work that way.
So be honest and understanding. At the same time do not put pressure on her. Make sure she gets the treatment she needs but be careful not to make statements she could take as judgemental. The big part of depression is feeling worthless. A statement you may feel is neutral may sound like a damning statement to someone suffering from depression.
Also hugs and contact are very important.
I hope this helps.
Slee
i made a similar attempt with asprin at a similar age. depression sucks, but nothing my parents could do or say made any difference. in retrospect, i think i was mostly bored. being moved around alot, i didn’t have many friends and the ones i had were not the best. because of all the moving around i never had a chance to join groups at school or sports or anything.
when things get that serious, professional help is needed. but i think if i could’ve stayed busy, that would’ve helped too.
but i could be wrong.
Not to seem coarse, but she obviously wasn’t trying to kill herself, otherwise she would have done it in a way that would have insured her destruction. Women never seem to actually want to go through with it, they always do it in a manner in which they have a good chance of being saved. Always with the pills.
Much of this is none of my business, but since you asked for help, the more you can tell me (and if this gets too personal IYO, please do feel free to take it to email.)
Any idea what triggered it, if anything? Sometimes there is a trigger and sometimes it just comes on gradually. Figuring out the causes and all that.
Is it standard practice where you are that, when the treatment of a minor is involved, one only looks at what the problem isn’t rather than trying to figure out what it is? IOW, did the psychiatrist have any diagnosis other than “Not bipolar”?
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Just FTR, signing a non-suicide contract doesn’t necessarily mean one doesn’t plan to commit suicide. I’d have signed one back in high school just to piss off the guy I was seeing.
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What were/are the details of this non-suicide contract? What is the penalty for breaking it?
As has been said already in this thread, I don’t think this is going to kill you. It’ll make you sleepy (and your nose will be as clear as a mirror), but it won’t get you to the pearly gates. I’d say this is more of an attempt either to do something about the situation or a cry for help. But the latter, given everything else you’ve said, doesn’t seem to be where it’s at.
Do you know if she’s been physically harmful to anyone? Does she have bruises anywhere, cuts, anything like that?
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Did you invite her along?
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What was her tone when she said “no, I don’t need you to come home”? It is possible that she thinks she’s being an unnecessary burden on you and your SO?
Based on the information in this thread, and this information alone, I would humbly submit (having no degree whatsoever, and relying solely on my own knowledge) that the issue here is more environmental than chemical in root. That does NOT mean that medication isn’t a viable route. It simply means that (again, IMO) a more successful route is one that starts out with appropriate amounts of therapy and medical intervention and that tries gradually to go to solely therapeutic.
My experiences with depression:
Both parents are and have been diagnosed with clinical depression. In my father it was a rather late (but not too late) diagnosis, but something my mother had suspected for a while. Same with my mother; father had long suspected it.
My sister was suicidal for a year or so, and as such certainly depressed back when she was around 10-12. My heaviest depression came in my junior year of high school, though it started when I was about … 7 or so (heavily environmental; genes made it easier to get there, but still), and is substantially lighter now than it has been since I can remember. FWIW, I was suicidal for part of my sophomore year and, I think, all of my junior year (this was back in 1997-9, when Prozac and its ilk were first becoming wide-spread). The only reason I was not suicidal senior year is due to the medication I got the summer after that harrowing hell of a year.
I’m sorry if I come across as condescending, but please read this statement twice: there are many many many many many things that can cause depression. Further, the same stimulus (ha) can cause two completely different (polar, even) reactions in two people otherwise fairly similar. Your daughter’s case is, while certainly similar to others, unique. Her problems are, while certainly similar to others, unique. The sooner she knows this is the case, and the sooner all involved can approach her long- and short-term treatment plan with this in mind (again, IMO), the better chance you all have for a more enjoyable life.
Again, if you want to go into extensive detail, or if she wants to talk to someone who’s been there and back (and almost fell off that one hill), here’s my email address:
And lastly … for some people, having a journal of some sort can be helpful. There’s a thread in MPSIMS where they’re giving them out. If the idea of a journal she can keep that few others will read appeals to her, again, email me and I’ll get you a join code. My fiancee and I are the only ones who will know her username (and that’s just because livejournal keeps a record of those codes that have been used and who has used them). Being, as she is, underage, I’ll tell you her account name, but from what you’ve presented I think she’ll tell you before you have to ask me.
Hope this helps:)
Eternal, you have cannot imagine the huge amount of effort I am putting into not reaming you right now. I’m literally trembling with anger. NEVER presume to make such insulting, condescending generalizations about such serious matter. Women DO make serious attempts. If it hadn’t been for some judicious timing by my ex-boyfriend, I would have painted my walls a new color with a .12 gauge shotgun.
Yeah, trust me, Eternal, you don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve been in an instance where my best friend’s mother had to talk me out of slicing my wrists open in her son’s bathroom. Trust me, it wasn’t that specific a conversation, but she did manage to keep me from hurting myself. Women are not the weak little creatures who want to be saved… there may be a few of them, but not enough to be significant. Watch what you say from now on… it’ll make you look like less of an asshat.
Just let it drop. Don’t let the thread get highjacked. Start a pit thread if you want.