Do not say, “Dear Lord, please forgive me for this vile sin I am about to commit!”
So…um…how’d the date go?
Unless you know that the result is what you want/intend, telling her that you want her to “perform CPR on your mule” isn’t a good way to get her on the expressway downtown.
I wonder how many times we can talk about sex only using innuendo and never being completely direct…I smell a new thread soon.
Fabulous! I wore my little black dress that I adore, and after dinner and some visiting with friends, I had enough rum and coke to wipe any mantra out of my head.
Sadly, I don’t think Stonebow read this thread, so he had to rely on his own wits and charm to get him through the night. 
Screw that–I’m going to try it the next time I get laid.
Aren’t you the one with wits?
No, nevermind…you said “wits”.
Yeah, I’m with you. I don’t think I’ve had a single session with my man yet during which there wasn’t some hysterical giggling going on.
Sex should be fun!
Unless she refers to you as Major Tom first
[raises hand] Me, me me me![/rh]
When you are in a room full of furries and you’re playing Great White Hunter?
-Tcat
- Resolved: If you get in a three-way with another man, sooner or later you’ll end up with a dick in your face. Briefly discuss both the pros and cons.
If you get caught with a pro, you may end up as a con.
Or is that not what you meant?
Slight aside - I suggested the nickname “Schlongy” to my husband, which he thought was cool, and it morphed from O’Schlongy (reflecting his Irish heritage) to O’Gasmic.
Tips from a woman to the male members (hee!) - keep most sex-as-sports metaphors for discussions with your homeys.
Pros?
- Is organic produce to be preferred for self-pleasuring over that produced with pesticides? Explain your answer.
- Depends on whether or not there are pests in your pleasure zone, and whether or not you like them there.
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In an orgy-type situation, it is rude to point at the blobs of semen on another participant’s face/bosom/stomach/buttocks and inquire “Are you going to eat that?” Explain why.
-
Which of these is the worse faux pas:
a. Telling your partner that her genitalia “looks like grandpa with his teeth out.”
b. Telling your partner that her genitalia “feels like grandpa with his teeth out.”
-
Because nobody wants to talk about such dirty things at a party. Better to take care of it yourself and pretend it never happened.
-
Definitely b., but not as bad as telling her that her genitalia feels like her grandpa with his teeth out.
- Briefly explain the sexual act commonly referred to as the “Whirling Emu.”
6 1/2 ) If she thinks you can do impressions, do not move your mouth next to her ear and say “here’s my impression of a puppy” and then lick wildly. Trust me.
6 3/4 ) Tickling & sex don’t always mix, though it all should be fun. Still, naming her breasts in a fallsetto voice, “Uh-uh…!” and “Noooo…!” could keep you from getting any that night. (or ever…)
- Complete this statement: “If you _________, it feels like somebody else.”