There’s nothing more sophisticated than diddling the maid and then chewing some gum.
That isn’t going to be good for sales.
I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house!
Looking for a good time sir?
You will be stunned.
They’re all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.
All I said was I liked the pen!
Hold on, wait a second. Can I fire you?
You’re Batman.
Reminds me of the episode where Kramer works for free for a week to utterly fail to impress a prospective hirer:
Boss: I’m sorry, there’s no way that we could keep you on.
Kramer: I don’t even really work here!
Boss: That’s what makes this so difficult.
What’s so great about a mom and pop store? Let me tell you something, if my mom and pop ran a store I wouldn’t shop there.
Mr. Steinbrenner’s here… George is dead… Call me back.
Oh, I like this plan.
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida; but they turned sixty and that’s the law.
Tippy-toe! Tippy-toe!
I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren’t cows outside a lot of the time? When it’s raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, “Let us in! We’re all wearing leather! Open the door! We’re going to ruin the whole outfit here!”
Yes… only a game…
Lemon tree!
Someday, before I die, mark my words… I’m gonna tell that woman exactly what I think of her. I’ll never be able to forgive myself until I do.
As of today I am a proud parent of a one-mile stretch of the Arthur Berkhardt Expressway.