You see, once something is wet, it’s wet. Same thing with dead: like once you die you’re dead, right? Let’s say you drop dead and I shoot you: you’re not gonna die again, you’re already dead. You can’t over die, you can’t over dry!
I was the best man at the wedding.
If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?
I choose NOT to run!
I’m a man who respects a good coma.
Million to one shot, Doc. Million to one.
No, I’m not riffing. I’m ignoring. Do you understand the difference?
I think he’s saying “Son of Sam.” Oh my god! I knew it wasn’t Berkowitz!
That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
Who! Who doesn’t want to wear the ribbon!?
Moles – Freckle’s ugly cousin.
It’s a Festivus miracle!
Yeah, you better give me the insurance. Because I’m gonna beat the hell out of this car.
You have three pints of Kramer in ya buddy.
His buttocks are sublime.
I’m on first and first. How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe.
He is a loathesome, offensive brute, and yet I can’t look away.
I want you to have this job. Of course, sodomy is a prerequisite.
You don’t understand - I must eat now!
It’s the financial equivalent of a complete rectal examination.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.