I think it’s ironic that Dad saved the day while a thinner man would have fallen to his death.
And I think it’s ironic that for once Dad’s butt prevented the release of toxic ga–
I’m going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for TEN MINUTES.
“We have lots of names for these people. Bums. Deadbeats. Losers. Scums of the Earth. We’d like to sweep these people into the gutter, or if they’re already in the gutter, to some other out-of-the-way place. Oh, we have our reasons. They’re depressing, they wear ragged clothes, they’re crazy, they smell bad–”
“Hey, listen man!”
“Wait…I’m going somewhere with this.”
I stand by my racial slur.
So you want a realistic down-to-earth show that’s completely off the wall and swarming with magic robots?
I want to set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute.
Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
By the way, Homer, what’s your least favorite country? Italy or France?
France.
Heh heh heh. Nobody ever says Italy…
You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
"You know, Marge, for the first time in our marriage I can finally look down my nose at you. Because YOU have a gambling problem!
“That’s true. Will you forgive me?”
“Oh, sure. Remember when I got caught stealing all those watches from Sears? Well, that’s nothing, because YOU have a gambling problem! And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house 'cause he was dressed like Santa Claus? Well YOU have a gambling problem!”
“Homer, when you forgive someone, you can’t throw it back at them like that.”
“Aw, what a gyp.”
[They kiss]
“Remember when I --”
“Homer!”
“Oh, yeah; I forgot already.”
I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.
There’s nary an animal alive can outrun a greased Scotsman.
Simpsons on a t-shirt? I never thought I’d see the day.
Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
You are so reticulated, aren’t you?
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Why, there are no children here at the four-H club, either! Am I so out of touch? No…it’s the children who are wrong.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
It’s in Revelations, people!!