Oh great, you made me miss Joe Theismann.
Hello? Hello, taste? Where are you?
Hmmm… fabulous house… well-behaved kids… sisters-in-law dead… luxury sedan… woohoo! I hit the jackpot!
The whole state is suddenly in the grip of lottery fever, and Springfield is no exception. In fact, every copy of Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery” has been checked out from the library. The book does not contain hints on winning the lottery – it is a chilling tale of conformity gone mad.
All right, backwards boy, back your butt down to detention.
Ooo, floor pie!
I know I shouldn’t eat thee, but…Mmm, sacrilicious.
Marge, just about everything is a sin. You ever sat down and read this thing? Technically, we’re not allowed to go to the bathroom.
I didn’t think it was possible, but this both sucks and blows.
Marge, I’ve got two and a half words for you: Gulp N’ Blow.
We’re too late, he’s dead. It looks like someone tried to eat him.
Oh, this just in…Powersauce is amazing!
I don’t need your sycophantic laughter. I have my own on tape.
Oh, bless you! Oh, that would be just…ohh, you’re just yanking my chain, aren’t you?
We work hard, and we play hard.
What have I done to deserve this flat, flavorless Manhattan?
Welcome to Loserville. Population: You.
And for Simpsons fans who want to mock others with but a single link: http://www.nelson-haha.com/
It’s Fourth Street and “D!”
Ah, this is the most exciting thing to happen to our fair town since the Dalai Lama visited in 1952; and so, I hereby declare that Route 401, currently known as the Dalai Lama Expressway, will henceforth be known as the Michael Jackson Expressway!
It’s just something they made up to scare kids like the boogeyman, or Michael Jackson.