Different guys respond differently to different women. It has always taken me much longer to finish from a blowjob, but it will happen. Unfortunately that requires either extreme skill or perseverance on the part of the GF. Even if you are not going to finish, be assured we still like it. I have gotten far fewer BJs than I would like, simply due to the GFs feeling like they were less competent because they could finish me off. If things aren’t going to end, then stop when you get too tired. If you don’t get tired, we don’t mind it going all night.
No problem on the hijack, Sappho.
Well, buckle your seatbelts, folks, we’re heading for TMI territory, again. Ahem Umm…furious blush…Damn, I wish this hadn’t come up…I’m one of those guys. I can’t say how common it is, but it exists. In my case, I can come, during a blowjob, but it’s been pretty rare. Then again, so have willing fellatrixes.
Again, I can only speak for myself, as this is NOT something one hears in the locker room. But, it’s definitely emotional, rather than physical. I grew up believing that girls, and then women, didn’t want me to. Some would actually say so. I knew there were others who felt differently, but I assumed they were the exceptions, and the naysayers were the norm. I suppose I should have started a poll on that question; do you really want him to come in your mouth? But, I didn’t, and I’m not going to. I’m already getting a reputation as the local lecher. But, even in this thread, I can’t help thinking of all you wonderful ladies as exceptions.
So, in my case, I have to force myself to believe it’s what the lady wants, and contrary to the porn standards, I’ve never had a lady ask me to, or deeper shade of red I have to be so stoned on pheromones and fantastic sensations that I completely forget. And, even then, I’ve been made to feel ashamed for doing so, once. (Although, it didn’t really phase me until the glow had worn off. And, that was one of the best orgasms of my life, so I had a really nice 20 minutes, or so, before it came crashing down.)
Like the man you mentioned, with me, it is more likely to happen during 69, because we’ve got our noses buried right in the pheromone factory. So, please don’t feel like a freak. I’m doing enough of that for both of us. It’s not you.
As for your question about when to stop, when you’re with one of these men, the answer is, when you feel like it. We’re not expecting anything else, anyway. We do enjoy it; in my case, anyway, immensely. And, while I would gladly let you continue as long as you want, I wouldn’t want you to continue any longer than that. If you’re not enjoying it, don’t do it; that’s the underlying reason for the “problem”, in the first place. We don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to.
Here’s the good news. If you can convince the man that, yes, you really DO want him to, and you have reasonable skills, the problem is solved. Well, that’s my belief, anyway. I probably shouldn’t speak for other guys. I just know it would work with me. But, even then, it may take some considerable persuasion from you to get him to believe you. Again, speaking from personal experience.
All right, ladies. For all of you who said, “I can’t believe I’m telling you this”, we’re now even. Aargh! Can I slink back to my cave, now?
Holy Cow! What are the odds?! If I’d only waited a few more minutes… Or, previewed, you moron!
Well, Flight, should we ever meet in a bar, you won’t need your wallet. It’s the least I can, in return for your making me feel like less of a freak.
I would be one of those.
I’ve only had that problem with one guy, and we were pretty young. That may have had something to do with it. The other men I’ve been usually took less then 20 minutes.
I’d like to claim that it’s my great skill, but I think I’ve just always been with men that came easily.
And I’ll be honest, I’d much rather a man came in my mouth, then not at all.
Dave … firstly you’re not a freak (love your self deprecating manner - very cute!)…
For everyone, sex is different… it can all depend on experiences, thoughts, whatever from when we were born, how we grew up, what we were taught etc. I certainly believe that, should I have been born 10 or 15 years earlier, I’d probably be in some home for the mentally bewildered because shock, horror I ENJOY SEX!!! Oh my God, what a thing to say… I think you probably grew up around the time when nice girls didn’t do such things (supposedly), how could they if they were nice? So you learnt that to cum in her mouth is not wanted … and maybe now it affects your enjoyment. My attitude is, whatever you’re doing, if it feels good and the other person is enjoying it to, then go for it (long as its doesn’t cause pain to anyone else). That includes letting your guy cum in your mouth…
I will tell you that it is one thing I really miss… if my bf was here and I was told I could only do one thing with him, that’d be it. God I miss that soooooooooooo much it’s untrue… why? its so intimate… so good… sooooo… sexy… I dunno, but wow I so miss it.
So, Dave, if you get the opportunity ever again, believe the girl and enjoy!!! It’s a wonderful thing!!!
Also… I was thinking about this today… its all about the journey not just the destination.
It’s not like two people should be thinking “ok when will this be over and what’ll happen then”. They should be enjoying everything, all the sensations, tastes, feel, smell - all of it. What does it matter where it finishes up … enjoy the process not just the end point.
Which is probably why I’m not much of a quickie girl :D, if I have my choice.
Absolutely.
Sometimes I do start thinking “ok, I’m ready for this to end”, but that’s only when I’m in pain.
I remember the first long lasting bj. It was with my ex, and although I GLADLY would have had it go on forever, because I knew she didn’t really enjoy it, I stopped her after about ten minutes. It was highly unusual, because I just didn’t feel like I needed to come. I gladly would have let her go on all night, because it felt damn good, but knowing she wasn’t really enjoying it, I decided to put an early end to it.
Now, the next girl I was with actually asked me something along the lines of “Aren’t I doing a good job?” because it was taking me so long. Here I was terrified of getting off too soon, and here she was, fearing her year’s of experience were a waste. I never did get off, and eventually she stopped, but again, I would have loved for it to have gone on forever. She was doing everything right, it just so happened that for some reason, I didn’t feel like coming. But, I boosted her ego the next morning 
So, if you’ve gotten praise before, and end up with a guy who just doesn’t seem to be getting into it, don’t worry! I’m pretty damn sure he’s loving every moment of it, so just go with it for as long as you want. Unless you’re one of these girls who enjoys having a guy grab you by the ears and “face fuck” you (rude, but that’s what it is, no?), just remember…you’re the one in control! So enjoy it. For the guy, there is no time limit for how long a bj should last (unless you’re one who just stops after a minute and leaves him stranded).
Sappho = You are not a freak. Some guys just can’t come from a blow job. Kinda like how many women can’t just come from regular intercourse with no clitoral stimulation. Maybe they are using the ex girlfriend excuse to cover any feelings of inadequicy they feel. Or a combo of the two. I’ve been with a few guys who were just enjoying it two much and didn’t really care if they came or not. So it’s like some little switch to cum was never flipped - cause they didn’t want it to be. I hope this makes some kind of sense.
Davebear = I love this > “fellatrixes” - sounds like a good band name or screen name hehe - and thanx for sharing your experiences
Rhino’sHoney = “its all about the journey not just the destination.” this is so true
Blow jobs can be a form of foreplay. I’ve been seeing an older guy. He’s only gonna cum once. I don’t want it to be in my mouth and waste it for other areas. They are gonna enjoy it whether it’s 5 minutes or 50. It is nice to know ahead of time if they can’t or don’t want to cum in your mouth. Not always an easy thing to talk about though.
Umm, yeah. My bad. I know I said “we’re not expecting anything else”, but what I meant was, I wouldn’t expect you to finish the job orally. I was thinking in terms of an established relationship. And, I would expect to come, just elsewhere.
A dating situation would be different. It’s not something I think about, often, because I’ve never been much of a dater. I tend to move right into relationships. (I should probably rethink that, given my history.) I guess, nowadays, blowjobs are a commonplace among younger daters early in the relationship, before they move on to intercourse, or go their separate ways. Exactly the time when I’d really love to have to explain my situation to a woman…cuz, I really like spending my evenings alone. :rolleyes: I don’t know what I’d do, if the situation ever occured.
I guess I’ll just have to limit myself to women who’ve already read this thread.
Glad you liked it. I’ve always liked the sound of it. There’s another variation with a C in place of the X, too. I guess it is a rather obscure and archaic word. I didn’t realize how obscure until your post prompted me to check the Merriam Webster online dictionary. It isn’t in there. Nor in the online Encyclopedia Britannica. How bizarre. But, I did eventually find it, in a medical school’s dictionary, of all places. And, it does mean exactly what I thought it meant.
:dubious: Ah, the bartender finally comes clean (sorry). So I think it’s time someone gets Davebear a drink here, what do ya say? Beer, whiskey, tequila, stream water (I don’t know what bears like)? Whatever you want, it’s on me.
It only happened to me once, in high school. I think it was because the alarm clock in her room was in plain view, and all I could think about was how I was supposed to be home four hours ago, and how my dad was going to kill me. And I knew her mom was home, sitting in her living room only a few thin walls away. The distraction made it pretty much impossible for me, but she said she was enjoying it. 45 minutes or something and I finally had to have her stop because it just got too uncomfortable (both physically and mentally).
I’m sorry to hear that’s actually a common thing for some folks (not the alarm clock/mad parent/mom thing, the not being able to cum part ). Just take heart in the thread you created, because, from my experience with the subject, the responses here aren’t just freak opinions. I think it’s pretty indicative of what’s out there, as far as I can tell from all the videos I download. Just kidding. But seriously, I know the women in this thread can’t be the only ones out there, seeing as I’m pretty sure I’ve never met any of them, and I’ve had many good, guilt free experiences myself in the past with various women (seems more and more like my “distant” past, but that’s another story, and I don’t want to kill this thread like I have others!)…
At least I hope I’m right, otherwise I’ll have to start looking up old girlfriends soon!
Hey Sappho, pardon the personal question, but doesn’t your username indicate someone who would have no interest in penises, much less bj’s? Don’t take that the wrong way, I’m just curious.
There is this girl I know up in Boston, so I might be heading up there sometime soon. I’ll take a martini. Maybe I shouldn’t be asking for a drink now considering what it means in this thread…
Oh, and though some women can bring some men around faster than others, even if you take a while to finish a guy… or cannot while other women were able to do so, it does not necessarily mean you aren’t doing it right. Sometimes it just clicks easier. The one GF I had who considered herself the Goddess of BJs was never able to make me come that way, while a neophyte GF rocked me every time. Sometimes its just chemistry.
Thanks, but I’ve been quietly pounding down shots of Black Jack, ever since posting that. The advantages of being the bartender, you know. And, if I somehow gave the impression that I thought of myself as a sexual superman, it was purely unintentional. I’m good, but not flawless. More of a Batman, perhaps.
I’ve had a similar experience, which I have to say was probably the only time I haven’t enjoyed it, regardless of the outcome. Or lack, thereof.
Sure, but my impression is that you’re of the younger generation, which has a whole different attitude about it than my generation. And, it’s not like I could just blend in at Spring Break.
Let me know. If you’ve got time to spare, while you’re here, I’d be happy to meet you, and to pay off that debt. And, if you happen to be up here the weekend of the Dopefest, you’re certainly welcome to join us for that.
True. Chemistry can make a huge difference in all aspects of sex. But, for me, I’d probably be thinking “Omigod! This is so great…I’d really like to…but she wouldn’t like that…”
Not something you need to be so apologetic about asking! I am bi, as it happens, but the username is just indicative of liking Greek lyric and Sappho in particular. In a vague way, I like to try and reclaim “Sappho” from being synonymous with “lesbian” and remind people that she was in fact one of the world’s finest poets. But I digress.
Davebear - that was unexpected! :o
The whole thing took me by surprise with the first guy but once I’d heard the reasons why he felt this difficulty with coming, I tried to show him that I enjoyed it rather than just telling him. And with the second guy I was more prepared for it.
It’s sad that some men have been made to feel so guilty about it. It only makes it harder for other women to please them later.
But I don’t feel like a freak any more.
heeeee!
Thanks!
I was thinking in terms of an established relationship, but in an all or nothing type situation.
**
Well, there ya go. There’s alot of us to choose from.;)
Well, I didn’t want to make any presumptions about age, so I just left that out, but you’re right… sucks to be you I guess Although technically I’ve already seen my last official spring break, so I guess my days of blending in are numbered now 
Still, there’s always a difference between perceived or “officially socially approved” attitudes towards things and what people * really * enjoy doing behind closed doors… besides, most people in this thread seem not to be of the current MTV generation, and they don’t seem to have many problems with it.