START: Cape, or white horse?

START, when you go on these rescue missions to save people from themselves or others, do you wear a caped superhero outfit, or do you ride a white horse while wearing full armor?

You’ve struck back against an uppity jeweler. You’ve tried to save your brother from the evils of pot. You can spot a racist at 20 paces. You always have an eye out for lonely people, people who look unhealthy, and people with unfortunate names. You were going to dispense vigilante justice on your brother’s behalf (although to be fair, you did take other posters’ advice on that one and call the police instead). And now you’re on a mission to save the virginity of an innocent young girl.

So how do you plan on accomplishing this last one, START? I can set the scene:

Innocent Young Girl: Hi, I brought the movies and some popcorn! Let’s get started! Wait…what are you doing?

Preacher’s Nephew: We’re not going to watch movies. We’re going to have sex.

IYG: But I want to save my virginity for marriage.

P’sN: You have no choice at all. I say: you do.

IYG: Well…I guess I have to. [sob] Who will save me, since I have no will of my own, or power to resist?

So what comes next? A swoosh as you leap into the room through the window? Or the clop, clop, clop of horse’s hooves as you ride up to the front door and bellow, “Unhand her, you cad!” Do tell me: I’m dying to know.

Thanks, Rilchiam, that was positively edifying.
The things I’ve STARTed to learn:

If I want a jeweler’s attention, I should try breaking the $100 barrier.

If I need to hide pot from my mother, I should put it in my bedroom trash can.

and

White people are Soul Solvents.

Ordinarily I’d post the rest, but I’m out the door to get an emergency vasectomy.

Wow I have been pitted!

I’m not trying to save anyone’s virginity.

why shouldn’t I be concerned if my 12 year old brother smokes pot?

The jeweler would have made about 95 dollars more profit with my brother than he did with the other customers that came and went and spent a total of 0 dollars.

As for the teacher it is* amazing* that he was never fired…how can you disagree with that?

The Weird or Lonely thing wasn’t like I was trying to do something courageous but when someone is staring at you haven’t you ever nodded your head if it’s even to say “Yeh I know your staring at me and it’s creeping me out.”

The unhealthy thing what can I say the guy did look better before losing the weight but who cares as long as he feels good. I was just saying some people look better being a lil’ overweight, like that black guy from the food network who’s name I can’t think of right now.

The Mr. Haugh thing was definitely worth mentioning because I didn’t think anyone would have a name like that, just something that I thought was funny.

As for vigilante justice that’s just crazy I’m not gonna go all Charles Bronson on some 13 year olds and a slow kid I was just thinking of taking my brother to get his stuff back.

I don’t see how any of the above fits into the rescue mission type thing…I see things, I mention it and how I felt.

I can’t save anybody only Jesus can…now go in peace brother, God Bless You. :smiley:

I’m surprised you didn’t include this post in your examples of my rescue missions, http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=262238
because in that case you could say legitimately say that I was on a rescue mission and I see that you replied to it…in that case I ditched the white horse and wore a cape and a spandex suit with a big S across the chest.
Anyway, he was my friend despite the age difference, you could look at that and say that I’m compassionate but I’m not one to stick my nose in other peoples business like you are implying I got stuff going on of my own to worry about. :wink:

Well, you didn’t catch him smoking it. You found it in his wastebasket. Yes, I know you had an iron-clad excuse as to why you were rummaging around in his wastebasket, but it sounded like snooping to me. If he was constantly high, had dealers or burnouts visiting the house, or was in danger of getting busted, I could understand your concern. As it was, though, you found some weed that he’d thrown away, and went all “Greg was smoking a cigarette!”

Actually, his profit would have been less than that. Profit is what’s left over when you subtract the wholesale cost from the retail price. The main thing is, though, that you cried racism when it just sounded like he was being uppity. And jewelers are conditioned to suspect young people simply because they’re young, regardless of race. Sorry, but that’s how it is.

I can disagree with it because you didn’t give any examples of his grading unfairly based on race, or disciplining unfairly, or openly insulting anyone. He was probably trying to be cool, not offensive.

Fair enough. But…see, I knew everything when I was 17 too. You may not be aware of it, but there’s a common theme here. “I think he looked better before.” “He should change his name.” “I was polite to someone who was either a weirdo or lonely!” After a while, though, you stop stressing about what everyone should do, and learn to just live and let live.

Yeah, but you were going to take the law into your own hands, which is never a good idea. Still, you didn’t actually do it, so that was a good idea.

But that doesn’t quite jive with your most recent thread. You say “I’m not trying to save anyone’s virginity”, but I can’t understand why you are so utterly convinced, without any doubt, that this girl will be deflowered tonight. You’re making her sound like a helpless child, with no will of her own or power to resist. I wouldn’t want a friend talking about me that way. And the bottom line really is, whatever does happen isn’t your business.

On preview: Yes, I should have mentioned that. In that case, I would say your concern is well founded. And I wish more people took that kind of thing seriously. But even so, be advised: Watch what you say. Even just talking about “going Columbine” will bring down the wrath of the administration, and that won’t help anyone.

Do we have to say “deflowered”?? Can’t we say “getting a cocked rammed in her fuck hole”? Who’s ears are we protecting. :stuck_out_tongue:

Anyway, with regards to the racist store clerk:
You said he was from some unknown country doing business in America. What race, exactly, was he partial to? Which races did he dislike? It would seem that all his customers are at least a different nationality than he. How could he stay in business if he disrespected all of them?

And were all the other customers he helped while you were there white? Or at least non-black? I don’t recall you mentioning those details in that OP.

I will always be grateful to START for saving me from the embarassment of people thinking I’m, like, gay or whatever. START is one goddamn cool ninth-grader, and that is no shit.

:eek:
I hope, if anything, that START will think about starting threads first before he starts typing as there seems to be disconnect somewhere between the brains and the submit button.

I think he should go with the white horse.

In all seriousness, though, I think y’all are being a bit hard on the kid. I think he’s well intentioned, but not terribly smart about how he goes about trying to help/protect/rescue/whatever the people he cares about.

Maybe someday his brains will catch up with his heart, which is clearly in the right place.

In the meantime, I think we should offer guidance and cut slack, whichever is appropriate for the circumstances.

17 years old in the ninth grade?

The Asbestos Mango said it. What a pathetic excuse for a Pit thread.

Yeah, lets keep in mind folks that he is only 16.

Ditto what The Asbestos Mango said.

I’m not a ninth grader…I defend every thread that I made.

I don’t tell people what they should do and shouldn’t do unless they ask but I do have a point of view on everything that happens to me and sometimes I feel like sharing it on the message board…if you hate threads that I start then let it fly off into cyberspace.

About finding the marijuana, my brother was lucky I happened to see it. I could say “dude if your going to smoke it atleast pick a better hiding spot.” I definitely wasn’t snooping because he could do the same to me and we’d both be in trouble.

As for the teacher my only point was that the kind of jokes he made every day are the kind that I’m surprised some parent didn’t take offense to but maybe he got written up eventually, who knows.

Why are people assuming they know me just from reading a few scattered details from my life and not knowing about what happens in between.

I still have trouble seeing how having a point of view about things that happen to you is the same as trying to save everybody…but i’m sure someone will tell me.

Well- either he’s an asshole, or he has problems with his reading comprehension. THREE FUCKING times I asked him what was the age of the girl in his "A girl is about to lose her virginity to a preacher’s nephew " thread, and he has so far ignored me, and not answered.

IMHO- this info is critical- if the girl is over 18- the answer is “butt out”- if she is under 15, this may be a matter fo the Police or CPS.

Depends how old the guy is though, did he say that? I can’t remember from the thread if he did. If they’re both 15~ I can’t say a call to the police or CPS would be taken all that seriously, nor would it be advisable.

If she was under 15, I’d certainly call- and then I’d leave it up to the Police or CPS to make that decision. If they dropped the ball, then it was in their court.

You’d call the police or CPS over a difference of 15-17?:eek:

Please. I got onto the internet when I was 14. If I’d spelled like he did, much less spewed crap, I would hope I’d receive a severe bitch-slapping.

Age discrimination may be an easy scapegoat, but it clouds true idiocy. Plenty of people over 40 have been pitted for similar behavior.

All that being said… I think his advice about how to get a fellow straight guy’s number is actually pretty good.

Well- in this state having sex with someone under 15 is Child Molestation, not Statutory rape. I’d call the police if I found out that anyone under 15 was having sex with anyone of any age whatsoever. Then- it is up to them to make the arrest, bring charges, whatever. If they choose not to becuase of the small age difference- well then, like I said- that is then their choice.

Altho the way you word it is “15-17”, which means both would be over 15. But you quoted my post- which clearly stated “under 15”. :confused:

Sorry, I did misread. I’m just kinda shocked that someone would call the police / CPS about two 14 year olds fooling around.

But if it was a 14-18 year old, yeah, I’d have to agree with you.