Summertime...and the sequential threads are sleazy

**How do we know it’s best to put down suffering animals?
Cats and Leather Furniture
**
Sure, we put down all of our kittens when we ran out of cat chow. But check out our newly reupholstered couch!

** Human hair, cysteine, honey glazed
Why bugs die when crushed.**

Just from reading the menu, I can tell why they call it the Guaranteed Weight Loss Café.

**Posting while inebriated…any rules to follow?
Arrrgghh!!! I just want a cocktail! **

Attn circumcised: your mother is likely a sex offender
No thanks, I’ll take my chances with the psychopath.

We’re a happy family
Me, mom and daddy

  • The Ramones

**Future Olympic events - a sporty MMP
150,000 condoms to be handed out at the Olympics
**
Who wants to be on that Olympic team?

Climate change/Russians change course of river
Toilet tank has stopped filling - what could be the problem?

Never hire a Russian plumber.

** How do I convince my doctor to renew the Vicodin?
Is it common to “talk” to dead people via facebook?**

I… don’t think that was Vicodin.

**What is (was) for dinner tonight?
Fake Chick Fil A **

** My first night living alone!!

My wife died tonight**

(I’m probably going to hell over this one, but on the bright side I’ll have about half the Dope down there to keep me company!)

**Alien curse words
Anyone have expirience making meuniere sauce?
**
I don’t, but the phrase is a curse word in Romulan.

Not sequential threads, but a nice thread title/user name combo:

I Need A Lot Of Help From Dopers! The More Quickly and Less Costly The Better!
Covered_In_Bees!

I just found my cat dead
Poll: What “social networking” stuff do you do

a) Update cat’s twitter feed
b) Post photos of deceased cat on Facebook
c) E-mail everyone who was expecting free kittens

Posted this solely to make Malleus, Incus, Stapes! feel better.

** I just found my cat dead

Please help! I am beyond terrified. There is a mouse in my apt.
**

Tough mice!

** I’m Having a Colposcopy in the Morning and Freaking Out
Cadaver dogs and really old cases. Total B.S. or real?**

“No need to freak out, ma’am. We just thought a current case would perk up Ol’ Blue.”

**Thoughts that come to you in the shower
Arrrgghh!!! I just want a cocktail! **

** Poll: What drugs have you tried
Poll: What sector do you work in?**

I’m in pharmaceuticals, baby! Don’t miss out on the next tech boom–it’s investment-grade all the way! The best bang since the Big One!

**Why did humans get into the agriculture business
Bitten and scratched by a cat. What to do?
**
Teh kitteh turned me into a werefarmer!

What is your mood when you wake up in the morning?
How do I convince my doctor to renew the Vicodin?

I take it that “Hurray, hurray, a new day is dawning!” does not describe your mood upon awakening.

** T. Rex and the Amish
Just When You Thought California Couldn’t Get Crazier!**

California’s crazy enough that an influx of predatory dinosaurs and quaint religious folk in funny clothes probably wouldn’t get a second glance.

Future Olympic events - a sporty MMP
Dealing with evil co-workers

One of the more popular, if messy new events.
Pros and cons of SSM as it pertains society
Shaved pussies

Is that a pro or a con?