There was a cute girl in one of my late classes, and she complained to me about taking the bus home. So, for a couple of weeks, I drove her home, not really out of my way much, and we chatted, I helped her with classwork, had lunch once etc. So I asked her out. I figured she was expecting it, she kept leaning in, touching my shoulder, asking if she looked nice in her outfit, etc.
She actually laughed in my face.** Literally.** And said she had a boyfriend.
So, I thought that was super rude and I never spoke to her again.
Now if she had just said “No, Doc, you’re super nice and all, but I already have a BF”, then I would have just kept giving her rides and chatting.
So the male ego is also fragile, and women need to know how to say NO politely.
The fact I was giving her rides didnt create a obligation for her to go out with me, but it did create a obligation to be nice about saying no.
Giving her the rides didn’t create that obligation; just being human created that obligation. You don’t have to earn a decent rejection.
As for the OP’s dude, I suppose we don’t know how rude SuntanLotion was in her reiteration that no, she was not available. As written it shouldn’t have come as surprise to him, at least - he’d been warned.
I’m not sure if it’s been mentioned, but how old is this guy? And what kind of apartment building is this? I’m not sure I’m familiar with apartments which have a TV in the lobby. Would there be any problem with getting your own TV in your room? That might be a way to avoid a lot of these interactions for a while if you feel uncomfortable.
You did nothing wrong at least from what you state in your opening post. I say leave the matter alone. You weren’t interested, you told him that from the beginning, he took it as being “hard to get” so try harder. He did, but from his stand point, it didn’t work. It’s all part of our social world. Leave it alone, he matters not as he’s looking for something other that what you are…or not.
Ok. That makes it a lot clearer. I wouldn’t be surprised if he always acts a little odd towards you, but that’s totally his problem. You did nothing wrong and you shouldn’t feel that you’re responsible for him feeling this way. If he feels he has to leave when you’re watching TV, that’s his problem to deal with.
He could be like me… back in the day, I had a lot of “girls who were friends” (got along with them better than my guy friends)… that I would have sworn I had no romantic feelings for. But one in particular, when she announced that I “just gotta to meet this guy!” that she’d met online and had a hot weekend with… I felt a pang of jealousy. Which shocked me… I guess we don’t always know our hearts.
For some guys, even a mild rejection can take months to come to grips with. Suntan, I hope this guy’ll be able to act normal and even watch football with you again some day.
