We’ve agreed that for now, this is a one time thing. We’ll see how it goes then decide if we want to ever do it again. And we’ve had lots of discussion re this. Communication IS key. And we’ve been doing a good job of that.
I’m not sure what part of the world you are in, but just maybe, this will be coming to a town near you:
Just by coincidence, I happened upon this story just after reading your post. I hope it’s informative. And have fun! And screw the naysayers.
Very interesting! Thank you.
Ambivalid: I’ve gotta ask:
How much of this thread is based on anything real, and how much is based on nothing but fantasy?
Have you ever actually had sex with anyone other than yourself?
Is your only knowledge of sex from porn?
Do you know the difference between fantasy and reality?
< blink >
< blink blink >
What??
Dude, I dont know why you have your panties in such a bunch over me but its clear you don’t like me. That’s fine. All I ask is that you refrain from threadshitting in my threads.
Is that Morse code? Are you being tortured (possibly by being forced to watch a Merchant Ivory film)?
Ugh. Messed up the post and got timed out. But that’s us.
Obviously anyone can say anything on the internet, but there’s nothing in Ambivalid’s posts that strikes me as immediately implausible (although I’m curious about the circumstances of the “public sex” thing). There are a lot of non-vanilla people out there.
I think it was Normal Mailer who got dragged, hung over, into a writer’s group somewhere. When called on to speak, he stood up and said, “How many of you want to be writers?” Every hand went up. “They why the hell aren’t you home writing?” he snapped, and sat back down.
Verb. sap. to the OP.
You’re over the line with this, both with threadshitting and personal insults. You’ve made your view clear at this point. Don’t post in this thread again.
One last tidbit before Game Day. The great sociologist and mathematician Tom Lehrer once wrote some advice given from a presumed Boy Scout Leader to his Troop:
If you’re looking for adventure of a new and different kind
And you come across a Girl Scout who is similarly inclined
Don’t be nervous, don’t be flustered, don’t be scared.
Be Prepared!
If the meaning there isn’t immediately obvious, the Main Thrust is roughly the same as:
Be Good.
If you can’t be good, Be Safe.
If you can’t be safe, Name It After Me!
One thing I have been pondering is that despite having no apprehension or jealousy about this, I must consider the possibility of experiencing some unplanned-for feelings when I see my lover and partner having sex with another man. None of her attention would be on me, and that is food for thought. It’s not anything that I think will be problematic, I think I’d like seeing it. But as I’ve had no actual experience in it, my confidence should be tempered.
I obviously don’t know anything about you or your partner aside from what is written in this thread, so I won’t “advise” you per se, but I will say that I think monogamy in general is toxic, so good for you two for breaking that chain. There is a lot of happiness and satisfaction to be gained from having an open sex life, as long as all parties remain open and honest about their feelings and intentions along the way.
Most people start out with setting certain “rules”, which is a good idea, but if you end up going further down this road, you may end up realizing that communication is really the only guide you’ll need.
Jealously is a learned emotion, and it’s healthy to unlearn it. It sounds like you are turned on by the idea of seeing your partner have sex with someone else, which is probably one of the clearest signs you could possibly have (on your end) that you’re ready to join the lifestyle.
Just make sure that you’re also clear on what your partner’s fantasies are when it comes to group sex or solo dating. Are they similar to yours or completely different? Ask each other questions so that you can both anticipate how the other would react to different situations that may come up in spontaneous moments of drunken passion.
I have a lot of personal experience and even worked in a swinger club for a few years. I feel like I’ve tried it all; the good and the bad, so feel free to ask questions if you want.
There are always possibilities for relationship problems to arise, whether it’s an open arrangement or not. That being said, however, swinging and polyamory isn’t for everyone, and that’s ok, but imo you’re better off ignoring the advice of anyone who has never tried it.
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I’m glad some people with experience have popped in finally. It’s been an educational thread to read.
That’s good to hear. You’ve received some solid advice from a few who have experience in this. I’m not one since I have not ever considered it. Let us know how it goes, will ya? Good luck and have fun!
I’m more confused at why panache, of all people, finds Ambivalid’s story so unbelievable. panache, who has posted many times about the thousands (yes, multiple thousands) of men he’s fucked, and about the details of fisting, and all kinds of non-vanilla sex, finds this too much?
I agree fully. A guy posts a simple question here and some people feel it’s their god-given right to rip him apart.
Hey, if you don’t like the topic, there’s always the Kardashians to read about.
So can we help the guy and his woman?