What do a cat and a hillbilly girl have in common?
They both lick their paws.
As a native West Virginian, I must go on the record as saying I am deeply, deeply offended by the hillbilly jokes. 
bouv, my son just asked me what I was laughing at.
Oh, I am going to feel guilty for even sharing these…
Q:
What’s the difference between a pizza and a Jew?
A:
Pizzas don’t scream when placed in an oven
Two elderly black men are walking through the mall one day when they come across a new store. In front of the store is a sign that reads “We’ll turn any black man white for 99 cents!”. A bit taken back and in disbelief, both men take a seat on a bench outside the store to watch and see if this is legitimate.
Over the next hour they witness several black men enter the store and the same number of white men exit the store. Amazed that this seems to be real, they decide to give it a try themselves.
The first black man looks into his wallet and he has a one dollar bill. The second black man’s wallet is empty but he does have 98 cents in change in his pockets. The second black man tells the first black man that he has an idea. “Why don’t you go first with your dollar bill. When you are finished, give me your penny change and then I will have 99 cents and I can go?” The first black man agrees and enters the store.
About 30 minutes pass before the second black man notices a white man exiting the store that seems kind of familiar and is waving to him. The second black man asks the white man if it is really his old friend. “Why of course it is, but now I’m white!” exclaims his old friend. “Tell me how it is? Does it hurt? How do you feel?” asks the second black man. “I feel great, never better. Somehow all the fear and pain and anger over the years of racism against our people is gone. I think I finally can be everything that I ever dreamed about being now that I’m white!”.
The second black man is so excited to hear this from his old friend and ready to make this change himself. He asks his old black friend “Can I have the penny change now so I can go through?” His friend responds…
Fuck you nigger, get a job!
I’m sorry. Really.
Did you know there’s three streets in Chicago that rhyme with vagina?
Paulina.
Regina.
And Lundt.
After the space shuttle Challenger exploded, there were a number of tasteless jokes that surfaced. The worst ones:
What does N.A.S.A. stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts.
How many astronauts can you fit in a Honda Civic?
- Three in the front, four in the back, and seven in the ashtray.
A hillbilly takes his 12 year old daughter to the gynecologist for her first exam. The gynecologist asks “Is your daughter sexually active?”
The man thinks about this for a moment and replies, “Naw, mostly she just lays there like her mother.”
Two condoms are passing by a gay bar. One turns to the other and says “Hey, let’s go in here and get shit-faced!”
What’s red, white and green and goes 70 miles per hour?
A frog in a blender.
What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common?
Their last big hit was The Wall
Another tasteless Challenger joke:
Q: Why didn’t the shuttle astronauts bathe before their mission?
A: They figured they’d just wash up on the beach.
Very similar to MeanJoe’s joke:
Two Jewish men are walking past a Catholic church. A sign out front says, “Not a Catholic? Not a problem! Come in and convert - we’ll pay you a hundred dollars!” One man says to the other, “What the hell, it’d be a quick hundred bucks. I think I’ll try it!” He goes inside. After a few minutes he comes back out. The second man asks him, “So, did they give you the hundred dollars?” The first guy says, in disgust, “It’s always about the money with you Jews, isn’t it?”
A good earlier joke thread; my first post is #78: World's funniest joke - Cafe Society - Straight Dope Message Board
What’s the difference between a pizza and a Mexican?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
whats the difference between christ and a picture?
it only takes one nail to hang a picture
Which reminds me of another one:
Jesus walks up to the front desk in a hotel, puts three large nails on the counter, and asks the clerk. “Can you put me up for the night?”
What do Hot-Lips Houlihan and Niki Lauda have in common?
They were both fucked by Major Burns
Jesus and Moses are up in Heaven, discussing their miracles. They decide to go back to Earth to see if they can do them again. Moses goes to the Red Sea, and easily parts it. Jesus, deciding he would start off with an easy one, tries to walk on water, but he sinks. He gathers himself and tries again, but still cannot do it. Finally, he tries one last time and runs full tilt at the water, but sinks like a stone.
“I don’t get it!” Jesus said, “this was the easiest of my miracles, why can’t I do it again?”
“Well Hell,” said Moses, “the last time you did it you didn’t have those holes in your feet!”
Q: Why should you put a baby into a blender feet-first?
A: So you can see the look on his face.
I am very, very sorry.
What’s the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls?
You can’t unload bowling balls with a pitchfork.
(I think that was popular when I was in the 4th grade.)
What’s funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
What’s 12 inches long and makes a woman scream all night long?
crib death
Why is it against the law to have sex with a dead baby?
Seriously, why is it illegal? Who does it hurt?
Okay, this is REALLY politically incorrect. I got it from a friend with a seriously rednecked father.
A truck driver had a load of bowling balls in his trailer, headed from the factory into the city. Along the side of the road he sees a black man, hitchiking. He stops to pick the man up but explains that the guy will have to ride in the back because his boss sometimes travels that road and he’s not allowed to have riders. The black man climbs into the trailer.
A little further on the driver sees another black guy pushing a bike. He stops again and offers the man a ride, which he accepts. Man and bike both end up in the trailer, along with the first guy.
A little further on, the truck hits a bump, spilling some of the balls out of their crates. Just then a cop car pulls up behind the truck and flashes it’s lights. One cop steps out and walks back to look in the trailer while the other one talks to the driver. Seconds later, the cop at the trailer has his gun out and he’s yelling for his partner -
“Son of a bitch! It’s a whole load of n**** eggs, two of 'em have hatched and one’s already stolen a bike!”
What did the Jewish pedophile say to the kid?
Hey, little boy! Want to buy some candy?
More Challenger…
What were Christa McAuliffe’s last words?
What’s this button do?
Whoops…
Apologies to any West Virginians. There must be a couple on these boards…
If a man and woman from West Virginia get divorced…
are they still brother and sister?
What has 100 legs and 4 teeth?
The Miss West Virginia Pageant.
A girl from West Virginia asks her father if she can borrow the car that evening. He says yes… if she gives him a blow job. She goes about the task, and when she’s finished, she says “Wow. That tasted like shit”
The father replies,
“Yeah, your brother borrowed the car earlier today.”
What do Michael Jackson and K-Mart have in common?
They both have boy’s underwear, half off.
Why do Jews have big noses?
Because the air is free.