Q: What’s an “open marriage” in Ireland?
A: The husband lets some other drunk smack his wife around.
* * *
Lord Astor and Count Bismarck met at a private club, and decided to swap notes. Bismarck said “We can solve all of our problems by moving the Dutch into Ireland and the Irish into Holland.”
Astor thought it over. “Well, I can see the benefit of moving the Dutch into Ireland. They’re the most gifted tulip farmers on Earth, and could make the Emerald Isle a showcase of heavenly beauty. But what’s the point of moving the Irish to Holland?”
Bismarck smirked. “Oh, you know. The whole place is below sea level. With their famous work ethic and attention to detail, they’d neglect the dikes and eventually…”
An Irish man walks into his appointment with his psychologist (shaking and brushing something unseen off his clothes.) “Doctor,” he pants, “It’s the little fellas, They’re back agin!”
The doctor, also Irish, says “Seamus, come, sit down, rest.”
So Seamus has a seat but he’s still brushing his clothes.
The doctor takes a deep breath and starts in, “Oh, Seamus, I’ve not seen you this bad before. There’s three things I want you to do. First, Seamus, you’ve got to cut down on the drink.”
Seamus shudders but nods in agreement.
“Second,” says the doctor, “You’ve got to get some rest. No more going out all night.”
Again Seamus looks sad but nods.
“And third,” says the doctor, (now brushing his own clothes) “Stop brushing the little beggers off on me!”
So David Cohen lives in Belfast. And one night he has to work late (at his completely non-stereotypically Jewish occupation. Let’s make him a bricklayer.) As he’s passing an alley, a hand darts out and grabs him by the neck. He can feel a hard metal object pressed against the back of his head.
“Are you a Protestant or a Catholic?”, a voice hisses.
“It just so happens I’m a Jew.”
“Yeah, but are you a Protestant Jew or a Catholic Jew?”
This has nothing to do with Administration of this board.
Some of the jokes on here are funny. I’ve laughed at them, because they are harmless. They play off a harmless stereotype. I don’t have a problem with the “Lets have the drink and the Craic” image, as our tourist board does its best to protray that (and it des it very well) and once a year we try to convince the world that it really is ok to be bl00tered at 1pm. Thats ok.
but there are some really nasty jokes in this thread. And I’m not uptight for taking offence to them.
Twist, you are right. If something offends you, no one can argue that it doesn’t.
In all seriousness, you can direct the fire at the people who are crossing the line, flag a mod, or pit it. I think the fact that you are being ignored is part of their response.
You missed my point. I backed off and gave some credence to your complaint. More jokes were posted. I’d say those posters who posted those new jokes were not exactly being persuaded by you.
The OP asked for a joke he could tell to a group of Irish people at a St. Patricks day function.
most people came in with some very funny jokes. some people came in with jokes that were bordering on racist, and one that prefaced his post as “Don’t tell this one in front of Irish people”!
If people knowinglyu post something which is going to offend people and has no real bearing on the OP, why post it?
and of course when people do take offence to the jokes, they’re just being uptight?
Jokes are jokes, but not all jokes are funny and some are just plain offensive. we’ve had the range of them in the thread.
