Looks at the Straight Dope 19th and sneers
You call yourself soldiers! I’ll have you know that my unit of ex Navy Seals, CIA Black Ops, Army Rangers, MI5 and SDI could kick not only your sorry butts, but could destroy your so-called ‘targets’ while you were still setting up your recon units.
AND as mercenaries … we are on sale to the highest bidder. Ladies and Gentlemen … let me hear your offers. (By the way, I am recruiting also … so if you want to be part of a real organisation … ;))
C’mon people, I know you’re out there. The MAN is organizing this little testosterone-driven shindig. Let’s get protesting!!
More to the point, I’m all alone in Aruba - no draft dodgers have joined me. It is extremely hard to play naked badminton by myself!
“Huh,huh,heee, he said ‘shuttlecock’.”
“No, I didn’t, moron.”
Sua
Hey, whats going on. Why does my arm sting? Where am I?
Last thing I remember, I was reaching into the beer cooler.
O.K., I guess its time to get chanting.
What might persuade these folks? Hmmm…
Hey guys - I notice that Eponymous hasn’t got any kind of officer’s club set up yet. We’ve got bee!!!
Which would you rather do - risk listening to Britney Spears whine at you, or go to Aruba to play naked badminton with SuaSponte?
The choice is clear. Come to the light side.
(Reaches into cooler for another beer.)
What was that. My arm hurts again. Uh … oh …
I see no reason why we can’t form an alliance of sorts . . .
But I would like to point out that our battle hardended Corps is tempered not just by battle, but by a fierce indoctrined hatred of all that ‘teenie bops’. Call us religious fanatics . . .
Tripler
May he who sings teenie bop recieve the first cast stone…
<phffft…thump>
Sorry about the dart, Sua, but it’s for your own good. Naked badminton under the Aruba sun will get you a sunburn you’ll never forget. You’ll wake up in a few hours in a shady place with a cold drink…
And a door that locks from outside…
::in the distance, a faint tune can be heard . . . “But my love is all I have . . . to give. Without you I don’t think I can live. I wish I could giiive the world to youuuu, but love is all I have . . to giiiiiive . . . to youuu”::
Quickly, men, let us gather our ammunition! The Backstreet Boys are nearby! A few quick shots of testosterone and beer should quiet these castrato! Who’s with me?
<pops ampoule of testoterone into dart, puts it in blowgun>
I’m on it.
What no one in charge of propaganda? Well, I think I could fill that spot rather nicely. I am a socialist, and am quite experienced about it. We need to win the minds of the people.
And I’m in charge of removing the razor blades from the local hookers’ vaginas.
does a quick peek to make sure Kevin is securely hidden then goes to help blow up the BSB Fly by peeps!
Consider yourself hired onto General Bosda’s Staff . . .
Tripler
Remember, you can’t spell WAR without an “AR” . . .
Order of Battle: 19 July, 2000
Mr Tripler - Chief Prosecutor, Political Advisor, Maestro of the Madness
General Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor - Theater Commander 19th SDMB Corps (19 SDMB)
19th Corps Staff Officers
Colonel Arnold Winkelried - Director of Staff (DOS/19 SO)
Master Chief Petty Officer ChiefScott - Senior Enlisted Advisor (1SGT/19 SO)
Major Lurkernomore - Intelligence Officer, Sortie Generation(INTEL/19 SO)
Major Bucky - Military Security Police and POW Camp Commander (SP/19 SO)
** Lieutenant Little*Bit - Interrogations/POW Handler (IPH/SP/19 SO)
Lt Colonel DarkHeart - Public Affairs Officer (PA/19 SO)
Lt Colonel Eponymous - Logistics Officer “Beer God” (LG/19 SO)
19th Air Combat Group
Colonel Falcon - Commander 19th Air Combat Group (19 AG)
Major KimKatt - Commander 19th Bomb Squadron (19 BS/19 AG)
** One Flock of Canadian Geese - Aircrew, 19th Bomb Squadron (1/19 BS/19 AG)
Major TopazAntares - *Commander 21st Attack Helicopter Squadron (21 AS/19 AG) *
** Warrant Officer 3 2Sense - Aircrew, 21st Attack Helicopter Squadron (1/21 AS/19AG)
**Captain LocalLoop - A-10 Aircrew, 6th Attack Squadron (1/6/19 AC)
19th Ground Combat Group (19 GC)
Colonel Soulsling - Commander 19th Ground Combat Group (19 GC)
Major SwimmingRiddles - Commander Alpha Company, Infantry, 19th Battalion Landing Team (A/19 GC)
Major Gunslinger - Commander Bravo Company, Infantry, 19th Battalion Landing Team (B/19 GC)
Major Donnie Rotten - Commander Echo Company, Mechanized Infantry, 19th Battalion Landing Team (E/19 GC)
Major Magdalene - Commander Foxtrot Company, Heavy Weapons, 19th Battalion Landing Team (F/19 GC)
** Gunnery Sergeant Welfy - Dragon ATGM Gunner, Foxtrot Company, 19th Battalion Landing Team (AT/F/19 GC)
Major Myrr21 - *Golf Company, Armor (Amphib), 19th Battalion Landing Team (Golf/19 GC) *
Major Sledman - Commander Mike Company, Artillery, 19th Battalion Landing Team (M/19 GC)
** Gunnery Sergeant Baloo - Artillery Counter-Battery Radar Operator, Mike Company, 19th Battalion Landing Team (CBO/M/19 GC)
Captain Quadzilla - Commander Quebec Company, Electronic Warfare, 19th Battalion Landing Team (Q/19 GC)
** LT ‘Hoops - Electronic Intelligence/Warfare Officer, Quebec Company, 19th Battalion Landing Team (EIW/Q/19 GC)
Captain ChrisP One Kenobe - Commander Tango Company, Combat Engineers, 19th Battalion Landing Team (T/19 GC)
Captain RedDragon60 - Commander Recon/Sniper Platoon (Recon /19 GC )
** Staff Sergeant Kiva - Recon/Sniper Team One (1/Recon/19 GC)
** Master Sergenat yESTERDAY mAN- Recon/Sniper Team Two (2/Recon/19 GC)
Captain Balance - Special Operations/Unconventional Warfare Officer (SW/19 GC)
** Secret Agent Dragwyr - Operator/Field Agent 001 (001/SW/19 GC)
** Secret Agent Iampunha - Operator/Field Agent 002 (002/SW/19 GC)
** Secret Agent ssskuggiii - Operator/Field Agent 004 (004/SW/19 GC)
** Sergeant Wacky Ninja - SDMB Guerilla Warfare/Field Agent 019 (019/SW/19 GC)
** Secret Agent Shay519 - Operator/Field Agent 519 (519/SW/19 GC)
19th Naval Combat Group
Captain (Naval) Amulet - Commander Naval Combat Group (19 NCG)
Lieutenant (Naval) Homer - Chief of Navel (get it?) Operations (CNO/19 NCG)
Lt Commander Aha - Commander SSN Tuna Hunter (SSN/19 NGC)
I’ll check one last time tomorrow morning for new recruits. I’m sorry, but I’m on a TDY (IRL) and may not get to assignments until Monday. Will advise. Tripler out . . .
Tripler
Kickin’ ass, takin’ names, not giving a damn about the environment either . . .
Hnmm…I guess us antiwar protesters have got to get some organization going if were going to send this group of ninja-clad misfits back to their paintball play groups.
BLUEPONY: Supreme Agitator. Defender of the Tasteless and Irritating. Sole Protector of Teenage Bimbo Singers From Tyrannical Persecution. Overall, Really Nice Guy. 
DORKBRO: Underground Commissioner of the Resistance and Beer Procurer. Additional Solemn Responsibilities: Party Snack Chairman, Political Theorist (in charge of remembering trite '60s antiwar slogans and songs) and…
Recruitment Organizer.
Really doing a GREAT job on that one Dorkbro! :rolleyes:
SuaSponte: Token Non-Violent Pacifist In the Rear With The Gear. Director of Supply for Underground Radical Movement (including beach chairs, volleyballs, and other recreational items).
:::throws rotten apples at oncoming 19th SDMB Corps AH-64 Apache attack helicopter:::
“There’s more where that came from, fascist pigs!!”
All we are saying, is give pizza chants!!
Snore, snoggle, hrumph …
Whats that? Uh, oh. Sorry, BP.
Guess I better check on the supplies. Hmm, better stock up on some munchies. Lets see, we’d better get a couple of pizzas.
(Opens cooler).
Hey!!! Bluepony. What’s this thing with all the needles?
Now, lets just get this sheet music straightened out. Yep, here’s Edwin Starr’s “War” - we’ll send that to N’Sync. Country Joe & the Fish’s “I Feel Like I’m Fixing to Die Rag” goes to Britney Spears - and Hanson can have “Where Have All the Flowers Gone”. That will be one concert that will never be forgotten.
OK back to the line.
THE PEOPLE UNITED, WILL NEVER BE IGNITED
(wait, thats not quite right…)
Mind if I head the SDMB Specialists Division?
???
This sounds dangerous to me. Exactly how does this qualify as “in the rear with the gear”? I can’t believe that a military organization would decieve a recruit as to how much choice in duty assignments they would have! 
2sense - its not too late. Join us in the opposition. We promise you can stay in Aruba if you like.
You don’t even have to listen to any of the music - we’ll give you ear plugs before we start the concert.
PLEASE sign me on! I got my very own black combat pants (proper ones from the Army/Navy store, not the friggin’ Gap), broken-in Docs, lotsa black tees and most of all, a burning hatred for all things boyband!
Lock and load!
:::Going over latest intel reports while feverishly planning Peoples Resistance:::
Let’s see, according to Chairman Mao we must swim about the masses of the people, invisible, like fishes…Oh Yeah!! Long John Silver’s run! Dorkbro, quickly!! I have a mission of utmost importance in the People’s Struggle Against The Cultural Imperialist Running Dogs! Also, don’t forget the extra malt vinegar sauce and coleslaw.
:::back to intel reports:::
(sigh) No rest for the criminally insane…
PROJECTED ORDER OF BATTLE
Ground forces
19th SDMB Corps War Criminals- Heavy mechanized infantry supported by satellite and GPS-sighted mobile, rocket assisted artillery and latest-generation NBC-capable main battle tanks and mechanized infantry combat vehichles.
Cool Underground Peoples Resistance- My 10-year old faded blue 4WD Jeep Wrangler with bungee-attached beach cooler and 10-CD Pioneer stereo. Dorkbro’s Murray one-speed rust on red bicycle with horn/basket/playing card-in-spokes assault package. Last-ditch resistance- Dorkbro holding a large, pointed stick while Bluepony supervises defensive operations inside Jeep Wranger (with engine running).
Air Forces
19th SDMB Corps War Criminals- Latest generation supersonic cruise, stealth fighter-bombers armed with laser-guided ground attack munitions. Advanced IR-detecting ground attack helicopters armed with “fire-and-forget” anti-tank, anti-personnel missile systems. Tactical and strategic airlift assets on-call for rapid airborne deployment.
Cool Underground Peoples Resistance- 6,500 saved-up Frequent Flyer Miles on Wahoo Airlines (the airline of the Everglades). Three free parasailing rentals courtesy of Air Banzai Beach Sports. Something large, explosive, and using way too many helium baloons and duct tape being assembled in Dorkbro’s garage.
Naval forces
19th SDMB Corps War Criminals- AEGIS-equipped, Vertical Launch System, nuclear-powered multi-role cruisers and destroyers. Cruise-missile equipped nuclear attack submarines. Rumored naval air backup- One Nimitz-class nuclear carrier commanded by a renegade Chief Petty Officer, who should be out escorting the Washington Redskins cheerleaders instead of involving himself in a Peoples War Of Liberation that he knows he cannot win.
Cool Underground Peoples Resistance- Large, rented pontoon party boat (with coolers) and two Yamaha Samurai waverunners with optional waterski attachments. Party pontoon boat is capable of sustained skinny-dipping and fishing operations in most coastal waters not to exceed 20 feet in depth.
Oh my god!! They’ve sabotaged our only attack cooler! They are truly war criminals and troglodytes of the first order!! Dorkbro!! Another cooler up to the front lines, quickly!! They are rapidly escalating this oppression and the masses will have their revenge. Prepare the It’s A Britney Christmas medley for immediate retaliation. Spare nothing, use the Bose speakers for this one!!
WE SHALL OVERCOME!! WE SHALL OVERCOME!! WE SHALL OVERCOME!! (All right, here comes Dorkbro with the fish and chips! Whooo hoooo!!)
:: strolls into the room, looks around ::
Damn good thing i had my head shaved 2 nights ago. Save you the trouble of giving me a buzz cut. Sign me up Tripler.
I specialize in weapons. Redneck’s gotta know how ta shoot fer cryin out loud.
Personally trained by Jar-head, ops i mean Marine step-father, Air Force brother, and Army father. Also received training from Navy Seal and Green Beret buddies of mine. Jack of all trades, master of none you might say.
Somebody mention needing heavy metal?!? I have the cd’s for that. Pick your poison. Ozzy, Metallica, Judas Priest, name’em i got em.