punha is going to kill me 
I thought I would wander in and remind you amateurs that a true attention whore does not restrict themselves to one thread or even one forum.
Wanders blithely out of thread, sure that all the pretenders will follow in her wake, attempting to imitate her unmatched attention whorishness
THTHTTHTHTTHTTHTHTHTPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTT! 
just making sure you don’t forget about me! 
The colors are lovely, the coding skills are impressive, and the mild ho-fights have been amusing. Think for a moment, however, about the legendary Attention Ho’s who have flamed across these boards with the heat of the loins of a thousand Bill Clintons. They have not feared scorn and contempt; rather, they have unhesitatingly spewed forth annoying, insane and outrageous words for the single purpose of not being ignored. Preview is not their friend, as it delays for precious seconds the appearance of their brilliant words before the masses. Their typos live on long after they are gone.
Contestants, the competition is fierce, and it is made difficult by the lack of codependent posters. Each of you needs to seriously ask yourself, “What will it take to make this thread all about me?”
robgruver: Nice use of a misspelled word in large underlined type. And cute puppy. Isn’t it possible that the puppy actually only has one eye because your alcoholic mother maimed the puppy to punish you for wetting the bed when you were distressed about a Bush policy decision? And in retrospect don’t you agree that maiming pets is a just and effective punishment for bed wetting?
P.S. I see that the competition has heated up while I was offline composing this post. Carry on.
You see? Harmless acknowledges my superior attention whorishness with her raspberry. She knows that she can never hope to outshine the glory that is me. I do not need bolding or colors. I know you set this thread up specifically for me, lanaif. I will allow you to lavish your praise on me now. I will even allow you to change your name to the spelling I used; I like it better, anyway. After all, this thread IS all about me.
Actually, I see absolutely no need to ask such things. It should be quite obvious to everyone that this thread, like all things, already is all about me.
Frankly, I’m quite surprised that this thread is still open. There really is no competition here. While some may play around in a charming (but ultimately feeble) attempt to emulate my greatness, you all still spend your days with the theme song I graced you with running through your heads.
Maureen, I’ve considered changing my user name, although not to what you suggest, which is just stupid, as you’d realize if you stopped contemplating your navel long enough to go read all my previous posts. What does everyone think: should I change my username?
Oh wait… I’m not in this competition.
Ok, time to get serious.
: pantses lainaf :
: pantses Ethilrist :
: pantses AngelicGemma :
: pantses Hal Briston :
: pantses swampbear :
: pantses Kallessa :
: pantses flamingbananas :
: pantses earthpuppy :
: pantses Tupug Anachi :
: pantses Rufus Xavier :
: pantses harmless : woopsie! : repantses :
: pantses SanguineSpider :
: pantses torie :
: pantses Ponder Stibbons :
: pantses Chimpy :
: pantses SolGrundy :
: pantses stately plump buck mulligan :
: pantses pontia :
: pantses OldBroad :
: pantses emekthian :
: pantses TheOnlySaneOne :
: pantses Picasso Feet :
: pantses Exgineer :
: pantses Master Wang-Ka :
: pantses robgruver :
: pantses Really Not All That Bright :
: pantses Silver Fire :
: pantses Seeker74 :
: pantses Maureen :
And if any of you want to try to claim you weren’t wearing pants then I’m afraid we’ve just had a horrible accident. Nothing that can’t be fixed with duct tape, though.
I think we should all pay attention to the girl with the biggest TATS!
[SIZE=1]Of COURSE I spelled it right!
[/SIZE]
. . .and to ME for being the GREAT PUNSTER!
Oh, I thought you meant this theme song:
Hal is my pal,
He don’t go by Sal,
he drinks beer by the dal,
while dressing like a gal
he’s a lil’ smarter than chaparral
‘cause he keeps his elbow out of his ear canal
But by any rationale,
Hal is my pal! 
tsk… there, there, dear. I understand your wanting to “be with me” (after all, who wouldn’t?), but I’m not in the mood just now. Why don’t you run off and get me some grapes? If you’re a good girl, I’ll let you feed them to me.
When did you sneak in? :dubious:
: pantses DesertGeezer so they won’t feel left out :
If you’re a good girl, I might not bite you.
<----chomp, chomp!
Unless that’s just your thing, cheeky monkey you!
And look how everyone has stopped talking to pay attention to ME (and, ok, you too, a little, harmless). They are our hopeless thralls.
Maureen is the queen
with a wit so keen
she looks to the computer screen
for a bit a wisdom she’ll glean
while she drinks caffeine
surfing for the obscene
but only finds cuisine
that features the green bean.
She jumps on the trampoline
fighting off a wolverine,
she ponders becoming a marine
thinking it would be it would be serene
to live in a submarine
but she’d then feel like a sardine
surrounded by all that saline.
Or sumpthin’.
And before any of you wisenhiemers point out flaws, I meant to do that, :wally 's
I AM AND ATTENTION HO BECAUSE…
I’M AN ONLY CHILD - MY PARENTS GOT IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME!
MY PARENTS WERE RAGING ALKIES - A DEFINATE PRE-REQUISIT FOR A.H. STATUS
I GOT PICKED ON IN SCHOOL - A DEFINATE RESULT OF A.H. STATUS
I USED TO BE ON THE CHURCH DRAMA TEAM - ANY STAGE, ANY TIME!
I SANG KAROKE AT THE BURNABY HOTEL, COLD SOBER - AND LIVED TO TELL ABOUT IT!
I ONCE WORE A BLACK LEATHER MINISKIRT TO A BIKER PARTY - AND MADE IT OUT ALIVE!
I GOT UP DURING THE OPEN MICROPHONE PART OF A FUNERAL AND CRACKED THE PLACE UP WITH A SMART ASS COMMENT ABOUT THE DECEASED. TWICE.
I WROTE A BOOK AND A HALF, SO FAR, AND I MAKE DARN SURE EVERYONE KNOWS IT!
I RAN AWAY WITH A ROCK STAR. (OKAY, IT WAS JUST A LOCAL BAND.)
I COULD GO ON AND ON. I USUALLY DO GO ON AND ON, BUT ULTIMATELY MY A.H. 'NESS CAN BE MEASURED IN ONE SIMPLE SENTENCE …
I AM A DOPER!!!
Bravissima!! Bella, bella!! wipes tear from her eye and looks longingly at her coffee mug, which nowadays only containes decaf
:smack:
Now I have to start all over.
Uh, bravissima who?
Of course you HAVE to be referring to my post, but…
but…
but…
Oh, the heck with modesty…
OF COURSE SHE MEANT ME!!!