Was just about to post that. You beat me to it.
** Just Saying Hi… I’m New
Why did I not get stung?**
Haven’t yet posted in the Pit, I see.
** What did our Grandparents use for sexual lubricant?
Airport baggage**
This is why I avoided commercial flights until the 1980s.
**The NYC biker gang beat down
The Creepy People **
** Ronald McDonald vs. Big Bird and Grimace vs. Mr. Snuffleupagus
Congressman vs. reality
[/V]
I’d watch this, especially for the Final Showdown, whether it’s Congressman vs. Big Bird or Reality vs. Grimiss*
If Snuffleupagus shows up in the final, my money’s on the big brown pachyderm-like thing. It’d beat either a Congressman or Reality.
*not Grimace
**I just don’t understand
Ronald McDonald vs. Big Bird and Grimace vs. Mr. Snuffleupagus **
Can’t say I understand it either.
I just got laid off
Call me Happy.
That must have been a really lousy job.
I actually want my cat to die. Actually die.
My cat died recently…
Well, that worked better than I expected!
** What have you accomplished today?
Switching gmail settings**
You da man!
Is it bad that I’m a cat lover *and *I found that funny? 
**What’s the weirdest reason you stopped watching a show?
Gravity!
**
** Male orgasm without physical stimulation - possible TMI
I found what I want for Christmas… **
Guess who’s coming for Christmas!
**My teeth are rotting out of my mouth
Could things stop being awful? **
Yep, that is pretty awful.
** Working on live high tension distributor cables
Water slides that just dump you into deep water–good idea? **
"Wheee! zzZZZzzt
Y’know, maybe there are better ways for an electrician to cool off.
** Is French more terse than English?
Moving in spaaaaace
**
French doesn’t have as many big vowel clusters.
**How did/do you pass time in church?
Male orgasm without physical stimulation - possible TMI **
Idle hands ARE the devils playthings, after all…
**New range - what is “Sabbath Mode” for?
Moving in spaaaaace
**
Yeah, I couldn’t make that last hyperjump until I was able to find enough scrolls to let me enter Sabbath Mode.
**What’s out there that it didn’t occur to you even existed?
Intellectual property and monster cereals. **
**My boss is a “Dick,” literally!!
So now Slate has decided to suck
**
**How are you reacting, personally, to the shutdown/default threat?
Colonoscopy in a week **
As long as I’m takin’ it up the ass from Congress, I might as well go ahead and get it all over with.