The Fall Of The House Of Sequential Threads

**Stupidest way you have injured yourself
Stub Hub?
**
I stubbed my hub once and it HURT!

** Umm…gosh…no, I don’t actually want to suck your cock, but…thanks for asking?
No thank you, I do not want to dance. Which of these words is giving you trouble?**

Alright, jeez, I get it. But would you like to go out for an ice cream soda?

**Opinions on a two seat car as a daily driver
Hot lap around Manhattan
**
Well, at least it will get you to work quicker.

** How did people make a living whittling?
#1 Genie wish, $100,000,000**

I can’t pay my rent. I’m doomed.
It’s unfortunate that I had to burn my house down

I think your landlord might have given you a few weeks’ grace if he’d known the alternative.

** Fleas - even after Frontline what do you do
Genie Wish #3-Resurrection! **

Hey, even fleas got genies.

**Had my physical today. . .
Hell. Officially scared out of me. **

“Oh my god, is that a tumor?!? Oh, wait, never mind–it’s just a speck on the lens.”

**Rape Laws and how they have changed
Girl you can never have **

Pesky modern rape laws!

** Worst. Jew. Ever.
things to do at night in NE**

You could go see the Red Sox on Aryan Brotherhood Night and eat bratwurst and clam chowder. Too bad Kevin Youkilis isn’t around to boo any more. :frowning:

Ariel Castro found hanged in cell.
Twerking?

Um, no, I don’t believe he was.

** If you were on death row, what would be your last meal?
Help me find this delicious cracker/cookie/teabiscuit I had one time.**

We were going to execute him back in ‘85, but we still can’t find that friggin’ teabiscuit.

**A message to all atheists, unbelievers, and lukewarm christians

the concept of faith

**

Don’t patronize us.

30 days for Rape
Rape Laws and how they have changed

You’re darn tootin’ - Tom Robinson sure wasn’t facing no thirty days!

I must be an outlier on the sdmb
Umm…gosh…no, I don’t actually want to suck your cock, but…thanks for asking?

Oh, come on! All the other dopers have done it already!

** What do you see when you open your bedroom window.
Black guys with a phone growing out of their head**

Honey! Time to move to the suburbs!!!

** Umm…gosh…no, I don’t actually want to suck your cock, but…thanks for asking?

Rape Laws and how they have changed
**

** How Incomplete is Our Knowledge of 1st-Century Rome?
Are revolvers really better to commit crimes with? **

Yeah, you try holding up a Quickie Mart with a javelin and a company of archers.

** Is it me or …
Stupid bitch Michelle Bachman**

It might be both, just sayin’.

**In What Ways Has the Web Totally Failed You?
People dropping in unannounced **

I mean, they could e-mail, they could IM, they could Skype, they could Tweet, they could update their Facebook status to “On my way to Buckner’s house, be there in a couple hours”, but nooo

**How to invest inheritance?
Pregnancy tests at the 99 Cents Store . . . **