A lot of the classic ones have been mentioned, but let’s not forget Kel Varnsen - Latex Division, author of the classic Would you shoot child and kill your child in this situation?.
Who was the secret agent with a busted caps lock key?
NoClueBoy was an odd one. Genius. Sexy as hell. But odd.
I do my job in human form, fortunately. I only transmogrify if there’s a significant security threat.
Shat On Cookie! That brings back memories.
I have so many favorite odd posters that I don’t know where to begin.
The guy who insisted that “same-sex marriage” didn’t exist because DICTIONARY.
The woman who had evidently never heard of commas, and complained that people shunned her because of her superior intellect.
The guy who argued strenuously that the line from Allan Sherman’s “Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah” about the coach reading from “something called Ulysses” couldn’t possibly be a James Joyce reference. As I recall, one of his arguments was that the coach would have been severely disciplined—perhaps even terminated!—for reading a Joyce novel to children.
The woman who casually took a bite out of a wasp nest.
The bus driver with the hot Mexican wife and a deep, abiding disgust for people with “learned helplessness.”
No links because it’s hot here and I’m tired.
The one chick who claimed to be JFK’s secret love child because of numerology. She even has a book out.
The dude who wanted to go scuba diving in a swamp so he could get a pet alligator and kept dismissing the claims that it was dangerous.
Wait, wait, wait - stop the thread for a minute!
You have a transmogrifier!?! :eek:
…can I… um… borrow it? 
Right, and she is still here. The other disheveled posters mentioned at some point pushed their junk filled shopping carts to the next street corner.
I don’t think that means what you think it means.
Early on, there was SECRET AGENT (SECRETAGENT?) who typed in all caps, (because his sooper secrit internet connection device would not transmit lower case letters). He often explained “politics” in terms established by his secret connections and tried to threaten a couple of posters, either for exposing him or being too far on the wrong side of his politics.
His name might have been lost in the UBB to VB conversion, by which time he was already gone.
I do not remember whether it was Phaedrus or a different troll who went on and on about how the American Indians were the world’s smartest people because Asians were smarter than Africans and Europeans and North American Indians were the most advanced Asians. I do recall that when he left in a huff, he posted a wall of text in what he claimed was a Lakota dialect, then claimed that he was going to post it in a different language, but simply posted the same text in italics.
No, I can transmogrify. It’s an inherent ability for most Mercotans.
So If I have something I need transmogrified (say, a pancake turner that I need transmogrified into an ice cream scoop), and you were holding it when you transmogrified, would you be able to get me an ice cream scoop out of the deal?
Yeah, if you don’t mind a neutronium ice cream scoop. Great for if the ice cream is really, really hard, but only stable if your local gravity field is really, really strong.
C’mon, somebody else remembers the Grapist, right?
I was going to respond with “Robot Arm, Post #69” but you ruined it.
Has this guy posted lately?
Oh please, JOSH infests another board where I post. I try to stay out of the fora JOSH is usually seen in.
I despised them for making “punny” jokes about a disgusting crime.
There was **jetblast **and his reason-free and fact-free obsession with the shootdown of TWA 800. The guy could make up a new theory about anything, and by the time of his departure had worked practically the entire world population into the conspiracy. Nothing could dent that shield.
Punsters cannot help it. They are sick.
“He who would pun would pick a pocket.”
-Doctor Samuel Johnson