I think it’s…
Behind every good man is a stunned woman.
My personal motto…
Why do today what you can avoid all together.
Warning: I’ve infected others with this mangled saying. It’s contagious.
“Well, that throws a monkey in the wrench!”
One I heard on Frasier: Give a man a beer, and he’ll drink it. Show him where they’re kept and he’ll drink all day.
That’s how I remember it, anyway. Might be a paraphrase.
If you can’t beat 'em… let ME beat 'em!
My family puts the fun in dysfunctional
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose. But you can’t wipe your friends on the bottom of the sofa.
Women, you can’t live with them, you can’t shoot them.
or
Women, you can’t live with them, but you can have sex then give them cab fair and send them home.
Guns don’t kill people, people who kill people…kill…people.
People who need people are codependent.
Early to bed, early to rise and you won’t see the TOP TEN LIST.
Here’s one i made my-self: Lige is like flu season, You never know what you’ll get.
I’ve always preferred to use:
Is a bear Catholic?
and watch for the corollary to sink in.
My favorite is:
Mind like a foam rubber trap
closely followed by:
Mind like a steel trap, rusted shut
Here’s one i made my-self: Life is like flu season, You never know what you’ll get.
Here are a few i just whiped up:
If life gives you lemmings, make lemming-aid.
If life gives you gators, make gator-aid.
If life gives you peas, don’t drink the juice.
If life throws you some fast balls, kick 'em.
If life had a band, would the make band-aids?
You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar. But you can catch even more flies with a big pile of steaming dogshit.
Uhm… it’s every successful man actually. “Behind every successful man is a stunned woman.”
I was typing while half asleep, which is bad.
Actually, no, but I can’t speak for all bears everywhere, so I suppose the answer is “some of them”. 
And it’s “Behind every successful man is a stunned mother-in-law.”
I once coined “Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left.”
–SSgtBaloo
Let he who is without sin live in a glass house…
Guns don’t kill people. Gaping bullet wounds kill people…
That which we call a nose by anyother name could still smell…
(Heard this on the bus this morning)
Violence is not the answer. Violence is the question. Yes is the answer.
auntnut, there’s one more!
An engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
You can’t make an omelette without ham, red peppers, onions, cheese and salt and pepper to taste, unless you’re making one without those ingredients, in which case you can.
The grass is always greener after a thorough paint job.
or
The grass is always greener before you smoke it.
Some say the glass is half empty, some say its half full, some say it’s actually a cup.
Neither a burrower nor a lunger be.
Always look on the bright side of the moon.
If it ain’t fixed, don’t break it.
Lead, follow, get out of the way, or stand around scratching yourself.
If at first you don’t succeed, never play Russian Roulette.
If you claim to be part of the solution, you’re probably part of the problem.
When you have the upper hand…
make sure to slap them with it.