hey, gang - look what I found on the front lawn!! Looks like a prosthetic leg!! How do you lose THAT?!?!
Alright, ** Cyn** I WILL tell what my weakness is. It’s accents. Specifically Northern European. Specifically the assorted accents of Great Brittian. Specifically the accents of The People’s Republic of Ireland. And Dublin, whoo-hoo. Those kill me. Are you happy now?
Now it’s your turn. Who is your ideal? And don’t pretend not to remember her name…
Mr.Cynical do you have any Grey Poupon? By the way, everyone, we need to chip in for another keg, hey where are you going screech owl?
Hey Mr. Cynical, I think one of the grates on the hot tub floor is askew. Wouldn’t want anyone to snag a body part on a sharp edge. Gime a sec, I’ll fix it.
:dons mask & snorkel:
:submerges:
Well, that was interesting. Next time though, put your pants back on first, m’kay?
So, Swiddles, there’s a few guys running around outside, around the bonfire who would like to meet you. Tell me, what’s your biggest weakness with men?
I’ve have to get out of here for a while. I’ve got a hot date with a new girl. If you’re lucky, I might bring her by later for a go. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. Know what I mean? Know what I mean?
Hey Silver Fire, watch me do a handstand!
You know, Milo, the strangest thing happened. I’ve been carrying on a torrid e-mail affair with Catherine Zeta Jones for a while now, but my e-mail account got all screwed up today. I wonder which poor schmuk is getting her messages now and thinks that “my devilishly handsome studmuffin” refers to him?
Ooo, look! A hot tub!
I bored. Entertain me. Anyone?
You got it, beautiful! Watch this.
::performs various feats of remarkable athletic prowess::
So, what do you think? Hello?
…and, THAT’S how I came to be a multi-millionaire playboy, with a 14" penis.
Hooo, boy, look at the time. Sorry to leave before you get to finish your -fascinating- story, Mr. Cynical, but I really should be going. Don’t worry, you can keep the rice pudding.
Mr. Cynical – Tell me again how you you made your fortune. The story fascinates me. I had no idea you could make that kind of money as an animal fetish test subject. And explain again why you have this 14" penis in a jar?
You know, if I were a flirt, (which, clearly, I’m not) I just might say something like, “Bottle of Smoke, if you can entertain me I’ll be your love slave forever!” Then again, I’m really not that bored… 
Hoo boy. I better lay off the sauce for a while. When I’ve had this much to drink, I’m liable to quote people completely out of context and do something I’ll regret later. Oh, hi there, Silver Fire, whatcha thinkin?
Uh-oh, someone got a hold of the rice pudding. It’s not in the fridge.
Mr. Cynical, I’m not going to do that no matter how many times you ask. Sorry.
::grabs the rice pudding and runs off to enjoy it alone::
Oh, wow.
Did you ladies see? MrCynical has offered to pay $50,000 to any woman who will bathe with him in rice pudding!!! Whatcha say, ladies?
So, check this out, Bottle of Smoke.
I, too, was a poor, destitute person like yourself. Also having to resort to prostituting myself to the lowlifes of the heart of the city. Occasionally, they would use odd instruments on me. Life was hell.
Then, I found the AFTC - the Animal Fetish Test Center. Wouldn’t you know it, but they were willing to pay me obscene amounts of money to perform…shall we say…tests, with goats and sheep.
My job was to videotape people while engaged in sexual acts with these beasts. Had I never been there, I wouldn’t have met you, you’re so baaaaaad! I rated your performaaaaance an 8, which was the other facet of my employment; They measured my revulsion level. You would have had a 9, but you didn’t pull out in time.
Then, one day, after I had found my fortune, I took a thousand dollars, and offered it to the person who could bring me the head of one of my tormentors. He brought the wrong head, but I kept it in this here jar of formaldehyde anyway.
Hopefully, you’ll take a lesson from this. Never allow yorself to be seen like that again!
Now, for the fun! Ladies! $50k to the first to smear rice pudding all over my naked torso! Silver Fire, $75k to you if you’ll scrape it off with a spatula, and put it in a bowl, we can watch everyone eat it!