What the holy heck is a “partyhatter?”
Please tell me ASAP. I want to add it to my vocabulary along with “hambeast” and “fruitbag.”
You do have the most remarkable wardrobe of compound words, ivn.
I think I just figured it out. ivn is an enraged foot fetishist. Seriously, this is borderline weird. It’s like he’s angry that any woman would be stupid enough to believe that wearing clothing that gives her confidence and makes her feel sexy could ever help her hook up. But then ‘getting laid’ isn’t the point… Or maybe she’s too fat and picturing it is preventing him from… something? Oh I give up.
Jesus Christ, dude. I mean, I guess it’s the pit, but it is possible to look ridiculous in the pit you know.
Regardless of ivn’s tendency to think that his own ideas of what’s sexy are universal, I do have to agree that there is no such thing as a fuck-me ballet flat.
I’m not disputing that you can look or feel sexy in ballet flats, but they can not be considered as “fuck-me” shoes for the following reasons:
-
As pulykamell noted, the term “fuck-me shoe” is widely understood to be a specific class of shoes, which is a subset of high-heeled shoes.
-
Fuck-me shoes, by definition are intended to clearly and obviously broadcast the “fuck-me” message to the widest possible audience. Therefore, it follows that they must conform to a widespread cultural stereotype of what is sexy.
(do you wear your fuck-me ballet flats with your formal sweats and your beach parka?)
p.s. Remind me to never ever wear a party hat again.
I guess the lesson learned is that you can lead a horse face to water but you can’t make her think.
The words “online game” are sort of a big hint. If it’s, say, World of Warcraft or any of its competitors, those can suck your brain out in a big way.
WoW didn’t destroy my life cos I didn’t have one to begin with - if I’d had one, I would have stayed away from that thing, as I knew I’d get hooked from the first screen.
Seems like the thread has been seriously highjacked so what the heck, I’ll join.
Ladies, it is never your shoes that make you sexy to me. Never. A little bit of leg, a little bit of cleavage, that works for me, but I have never ever looked at a woman’s shoes and said: damn, I gotta get me some of that!
Huh. I was all fixed to stop hijacking this thread, and yet hijacking seems to have gone on irregardless, so suppose I make it all about me just for another five minutes:
@Anaamika - True, we have discussed our relationship woes at some length off-board, but I guess I missed the part where you said “You know, Mal, you’ve really worn this threadbare on the Dope, and as your friend, I strongly recommend you STFU about it”. But I’m sure you can point out where I’ve been offered relevant, applicable, useful advice and how I’ve ignored it to my detriment, and you’ll likely find me easily enough when you dig up your cites.
@Aesiron - I think you should take into consideration the possibility that my apparent bitterness on this subject (a) is the result of my not getting laid, not the cause of it, and (b) is vehement on the Dope exactly in proportion as I hold my peace on the subject IRL. I’m truly amazed to learn, however, that I can poison every relationship thread I post in; I can only pray that I will exercise such awesome power responsibly. But insofar as I fall short of the mark, may I suggest that since I’ve not noticed you apparently finding any post of mine enjoyable on any other subject either, you could just put me on ignore? I know you’re not allowed to say you’ve done so, but I believe board rules allow me to make the recommendation.
I accept your correction as to the whole calling-me-a-whiner-offline thing. I can only plead as excuse that our mutual friend mentioned that you’d done so, but sang dumb about having done it herself. But two-facedness will out, give it time.
As to being an Internet Tough Guy, let me help you out there with the definition. It’s more usually, I believe, manifested in a post such as
secure in the knowledge that, though all the above may be perfectly true and applicable, five time zones and a deep ocean preserve me from having to make good on my boast.
On the other hand, swaggering into a thread proclaiming “You don’t deserve to have your wife touch your dick! You’re bitter and you whine all the time! Yes, I said whine! Don’t like it, do you?” and following up with “…No fair calling me names back!”, that’s more Internet Weenie conduct. So suppose you go ahead and git offa my lawn, after all. waves cane
@DianaG - Well, dear, as to the waaaaahmbulance, triage is sometimes necessary, and if the urgency of the visit depends on having the loudest call for the least cause, I think “Waah! I was meant to get laid tonight, and I didn’t!” takes priority over “Think that’s bad? I’ve had nothing for two months, and counting”. You’re at liberty to differ, but you should explain why. For the rest, it would be time enough to lambast me for dissing on women’s sex drives generally when I’d said anything about women’s sex drives generally, and I guess it’s inconvenient of me not to have done so in this thread, instead of just talking about one specific personal and recent experience… but I don’t see where that entitles you to just assume I had given you reason to ride your favourite hobby-horse.
And @MotherofAndrew - On sober reflection, we all have our own cross to bear, and only we can decide whether we find the weight irksome. I might think my own weightier, but that doesn’t, after all, make yours any easier on you, and I apologise for pissin’ on your bonfire. 
.
Well, you sure told me. I don’t own a muumuu or a partyhat but I suppose I could go buy them. What do you think, Dopers–do I need them? I didn’t refer to them as fuck me ballet flats–I said a woman could feel sexy (and be sexy) in them. But why read for comprehension? This is more fun.
Getting laid isn’t the point? Of what, exactly–FMPs? Wearing FMPs or not? Being attractive or conveying one’s readiness/willingness for sex?
Teach me. Please.
First of all, I wanted to let everyone know that I GOT LAID!!! Yeah!!! Send the Waaaahmbulance for somebody else, 'cause I am pretty damn smug right now.
Hubby is headed out of town in a few hours to go to a family reunion, so he made his last night in town for a week good for me. Go him.
And Mal, no offense taken. You’re just as entitled to your opinion as I am. And, since I posted on an internet message board, I was literally asking for it. 'Course, I’m pretty darn mellow right now. Maybe I’ll be ticked tomorrow? 
Gotta run. I’ll try to hit the board later tonight.
blows party hooter, waves flag
Yes you did.
Where are you getting these? From the ‘Stupid things people yell from their cars’ thread? I don’t really want to encourage you, but traditionally, before insulting someone’s looks it’s best to actually see them. Now go work on that summer reading list before school lets in.
Well, all’s well that ends well.
A superb idea poorly executed. In particular the captions, which were either composed by severely slow grade-schoolers or translated recklessly through several languages, or both.
So…if you see a girl out at a bar in her ballet flats and tight jeans, are you…what? Gonna yell at her?
Is that anything like a party hatter?
Suddenly I have an urge to hoot at a party…
That’s Miguel for you. I am amazed he is still around.
I agree. “Fat chicks in party hats” as a concept is pretty hysterical. But in looking through the galleries, it was really more of a “let’s laugh at fat people” thing. There’s nothing funny or clever about laughing at fat people just for being fat. It’s just boring.