MoA, when’s the last time your husband initiated sex?[/QUOTE]
About a month ago. At 4:15am. My alarm goes off at 6am. I am not a morning person.
IIRC, it was my turn to tell him it was gonna be a quickie. He was okay with that. Once the ball got rolling, it was a bit more than a quickie–and that was also his idea. I didn’t reach Nirvana, but I had a hell of a time on the climb.
I know a lot of this stems from his ego and me not sticking up for myself. I know a big problem at the moment is that he’s having issues at work. I also know I’ve got to get my butt back into therapy. I’m also trying to stay on the supportive side of the line (and keep from crossing over into nagging) when I suggest therapy for him, too.
Have you? The sex passages require narration to set the mood. The emotions and actions of the characters are described in great detail in order to create the right emotional state for arousal.
Now let’s compare that to porn. Naked women posed. period. No discussion about her’s (or your) emotional state. No set up narrative. Just a picture.
If it’s video its naked womea having sex. If any talk occurs at all its closer to my “pie afterwords” description than any romance novel.
You sure you have enough testosterone in you to complete the task?
They always say marriages take a lot of work, but I don’t think it is the kind of work that you are engaging in, Mom-of-Andrew. The kind of work you and your husband are engaging in is the kind you do when you are trying to force something to work that just doesn’t fit. Just my opinion, and just based on what you’ve posted here, of course.
Heck, sex with the baby sleeping in the next room was easy. It’s the teenagers who are up doing homework that go :dubious: when Mom and Dad say, “9pm, bedtime everyone!” We’ve taken to morning romps because well, teenagers can do nothing as well as sleeping in.
Ha, yeah. Nothing like thinking you have the little ones set up in front of the TV with their favorite show, sneak off into the bedroom, lock the door, get busy, and right in the middle of things, a 3 year old is pounding on the door “Mom, Dad, I gotta go potty!”
Well shit it’s pretty obvious. She wasn’t complaining about the timing. She was giving an example of how she is willing to participate when hubby has “needs” which is in contrast to him totally shutting down when she has them.
Timing really wasn’t the point, but I can understand why you would request a road map if that’s what you came away with after reading her post.
I don’t mean to answer for Rick but I thought I could. While I’m not a genuine Mr. Snark, I have played him on TV.
How about when you’re having a rare spontaneous moment on top of the covers, with all the lights blazing, and your six year old walks in while your husband is going down on you? :o
(Her response - “I see that you guys are . . . all naked. It’s OK, I won’t tell anyone.”)
Seriously, kids complicate your sex life. I think a lot of couples shift into no sex mode during the hormone swings and lack of sleep of the first couple years. It’s difficult to return to “horny teenager mode” after that.
Mom-of-Andrew, I want to say I really admire you taking your son’s well-being into account. Plenty of people in this thread seem to disagree, but I think that spending some time in a less-than-ideal sexual pairing so you can maintain all the good things about the marriage, including a stable home and dad in the kids’ life, can be a very fair trade off. Not fun, but maybe worth it.
But best would be to pursue the issue in your own head and with your husband - maybe make that therapy single and couples, and excavate your sex life. It can happen, and you’d have the best of both worlds.
I think we are in complete agreement on this issue. I just offered my own perspective on what I thought was a bad sex-engaging strategy.
I see no way in which this is relevant to the general amount of sex each gender desires. But thanks for the porn vs. romance novel summary, you sure are good at taking nuanced genres and summarizing them in the most stereotypical way. It would suck if you did the same thing to people’s posts on the internet.
Perhaps, but that sounds like the old mentallity of being pissed because it was a win win situation. If it wasnt worth it to her to do the nasty that morning, then yeah, she can be pissed. She can also be pissed that he won’t do that for her (that apparently being “forced” into sex out of a sense of obligation and having the misfortune to actually enjoy it).
See, I actually did read for comprehension.
Complain he doesnt do it for you when its not covenient for you (remember he can use the same arguement). Complain you don’t get it enough. Don’t complain he did it and you enjoyed it to (especially when the complaint isnt you get it enough).
Actually, I think the former might be worse - more time to think about the inevitable ‘I want sex’ moment. I, for one, tend to agonize about conversations that are going to be unpleasant, and turning someone I care about down is right at the top of that list. So totally not sexy.
You know, I have to admit, if there was a Russian accent involved, that might get me going. I may have to buy my girlfriend a Genghis Khan outfit…
My statement isn’t controversial unless you subscribe to some bizarre sexist perspective of gender interactions. Men and women certainly express their desires differently, but they are two sides of the same coin.
Men and women need context to sex, and men and women enjoy visual stimulation.
Originally Posted by Hero From Sector 7G
Would a woman go from cold to fuck beast just because her husband put on nice clothes, slapped her laptop lid shut, and said “IT IS FUCK TIME!!!”
