That reminds me, I need to call my proctologist tomorrow.
If my wife calls, I’m not here.
Hmmm. What’s a five-letter word meaning “prostitute”?
Talk like Donald Trump.
As soon as I take mine out, you put yours in…3, 2, 1…
You need to trim your nostril hair.
Put your diaper back on.
No, I mean it - you really need to trim your nostril hair.
That’s not a nostril.
THIS is a nostril!
I admit it, I actually clean septic tanks for a living. I just didn’t think you’d sleep with me if you knew I was a software engineer.
"Boy…
Girl…
Boy…
Girl…
And this is the original?
Well, you did tell me you were trans but I just don’t think I can be with anyone this indecisive and never throws anything out."
Have you ever considered braiding your armpit hair?
Well, there used to be two!
Do you mind if I start a Straight Dope thread about this?
Shhhhh! My mom’s coming!!!
Damn mom…that was a huge orgasm.
Do you think there really are “black widow” types who kill their partners during orgasm?
Darlin’, I’m gonna make you come so hard you’ll shit yourself!
Did you add toilet paper to the shopping list, honey?
Did you hear that ? It sounded like " Honey I’m Home "!!