Um. I shit myself.
I did, too.
I have to tell you something, I was born a man.
I’m gonna have to kill you, no seriously.
“Isn’t that your parents car pulling into the driveway…?”
also…
“I know you’re into vajazzling, but all I have is a snap fastener gun…”
**Ka-Chunk!
Ka-Chunk!
Ka-Chunk! **
Don’t touch me here, here or here, or my junk will fall off.
Why does it look so disfigured? Hold on let me ask my mum to come look at it. She’s a doctor.
Our spawn will be the Antichrist!
Do you usually bleed this much?
Oh my god! Was that hot sauce?! I thought it was lube!
“The zucchinis and cucumbers didn’t look fresh, so that was a Habanero…!”
Christ, that was SUPERGLUE??!!
Where is it?
And…
Are you at a full sail?
What is it?
Is that a cold sore?
Close, it’s MRSA.
Oh my dear, something smells a little funky in here.
(i know its not me) 
Uh, what are we going to tell dad?
Hi dad!
Mom, I know it sounds creepy and maybe even illegal, but think about it!