No sleeping on the job, listed in my employee handbook. Damn, you mean I have to sleep at home?
No, you can’t be a mercenary when you grow up, as told to my son.
The implied contract between you and your employer is the following:
You work during your shift, and they pay you a set rate for those hours.
Get it?
Not too difficult to understand is it?
Get off your ass and do some work!
And I don’t want to hear you whining about (insert random complaint about employer) if you aren’t giving them your best during the shift.
“Business is HOT. Safety is COOL.” - according to an extremely large sign where I work. Gee, I was planning on running over Girl Scouts with the forklift. You mean I can’t? :rolleyes:
“ask the__” threads are getting old…
I like the warnings on containers of roach poison, household cleaners, and bleach… “in case of accidental ingestion, DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING. Contact your healthcare professional or the Poison Control Center.”
Because most people just chug a little Clorox by accident and then think, “You know, I’m gonna see if any symptoms develop.”
(The question of HOW someone ingests any of these things “by accident” is a whole other thread.)
And I also want to know WHAT toy comes with batteries that are included?
Nothing can top a warning sign in a Swedish chainsaw - “Don’t stop the running chainsaw blade with bare hand.” Those silly Swedes.
Been around small children much?
And it’s a pretty relevant warning not to induce vomiting.
Digital watch.
Cell phone.
Probably some handhold games.
No, thankfully, Doghouse. 
Although my brother did drink some Pert once, so I do see your point…although mine remains the same. All “Don’t Sue Me!” legalese aside, admit that everyone’s first reaction upon finding their child with a mouthful of Pert would be to call the doctor ASAP.
Anyway, I do understand the whole point of the warnings on bottles of potentially hazardous chemicals…I just find them rather humorous because of their oh-so-obvious nature.
Cell phones and digital watches aren’t toys, either. 
(Unless, of course, a child gets hold of them…but again, we digress.)
I just bought my nephew the requisite noisy toy - an electronic keyboard with built-in rhythm feature - and it’s fully batteried!
As for my contribution to the OP:
Don’t put that in your nose!
To a 16yr old it may be a toy (cell)
To the OP: Fire is hot it will burn your ass, bad. In reference to the idiot teen’s who went to see “jackass” and lit they’re dumb-asses up… I wasn’t too bright at that age either but I knew damn-well that fire is hot…
**Things you shouldn’t have to tell people. **
It’s time for a nice long appreciation thread for all the military personnel that will be away from their families this holiday season.
If you think a thread should be started, then start it. Surely you didn’t need us to tell you that.
Done. Good idea Doghouse.
“Stand to the right, walk to the left.”
It’s not freaking ROCKET SCIENCE, people !!
No, thank you very much. Please leave now. I’m shutting the door in your face. Good bye.
(said to those kids in the white shirts and black ties who ride up on their bicycle and expect to convince you they know the secret of the universe)
Not in our country boyo.
It’s the other way around.
So if I come to your country again, I will try to remember to walk on the correct side.
Uh, lots of them? At least lots of them that I’ve bought.
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