I think you’d better get a new keyboard…don’t worry, while you’re gone we won’t try to kill the thread without you, honest!
Struut…were you implying that my sweet little story sent everyone to sleep? That’s horrible! The thread could have eaten them or anything!
Oh…I didn’t say there was a problem at all. No sirree. Just an observation, that’s all.
Enjoy, I’ll be sitting over here with Saint Zero watching the show.
Allllright, who stole my cucumber?
Not even remotely. I quite liked your story. No…I just figured they were all exhausted from threadfighting.
You have will’s gift. I’m envious.
You *wound[i/] me, madam. Are you implying that I would willingly and wantonly smear my grease-covered hands all over this voluptuous, nubile young lady’s body just to get a few kicks? Are you saying I would let my oiled fingers trace lovingly over her smooth curves and supple skin, forgetting my sacred vow as a threadkiller? Are you impugning my honor by saying I would gently attempt to remove unnecessary portions of her clothing so that I may gaze upon her naked loveliness and bask in her gentle radiance?
Is THAT what I’m hearing, here?
Aargh. My apologies on the coding error.
Damn! Can I be next?
Search me. 
Shit…I meant as the feel-ee.
Not the feel-er.
No offense, Mermaid. 
Wow! This is getting kinky! I’d be glad to ma’am but there seems to be a line… Dang $10 a ticket!
Awww Now I’m dissapointed 
I’ll give you a dollar to search Mermaid.
…How y’all doing?
$1.50
I brought my slides, sit down, pull up a chair…
<cough, cough>
Ow, I…wha happened? Where am I?
<looks around, begins speaking in an unnecesarily thick Australian accent>
CRIKEY! Look at the size a that thread ovah there! That ther’s the biggest example of uglies-threddius-maximus I ever seen! Ah’ll bet Ay can get tha EMMY fer capturin that bloke!
Jestah? Who’s Jestah? Aym tha Thread Huntah[sup]tm[/sup]! Naw, Ah don’t have tyme fer knish, Ah gotta go aftah that thread! If I’m lucky, Ah can REALLY piss im off! That’ll be Fun!
<puts on tan safari outfit, dives into bushes to sneak up on thread>
Keep the cameras on me! Crikey, I get to close to this thing, and I could bleed out an’ DIE!
Whoop! Looks like MY number’s UP!
Hey, look, I can form a line all by myself!
Sit down you Auzzie git, I said, I have slides,
I know you Auzzies love slides cause it was an obnoxious Auzzie that convinced my SO that WE should be shooting slides.
That we don’t own a slide projector never entered into it.
We’ll start with slides of Nepal, because that’s where we met the Auzzie rat bastard who started the whole thing…
Hmph. You’re welcome. See if I ever help bring a person back from the brink of death again. Not even a thank you or a goodbye kiss.
OK Fine, no more titilating remarks or fashion comentary, this means WAR!!!
>reaches in bra, pulls out Big Ass Wupping Stick™and sets off to find either Jester or the thread.
<looks at Jester as he raves in a pseudo-Australian accent>
Crikey, J. You pass through the bowels of the beast and come out with an Aussie accent? That gives new meaning to ‘the Outback.’
Or maybe it’s because of Mermaid and my talents in cpr? So that gives new meaning to ‘Down Under.’
Euphemisms, anyone? I’ve got a whole knish-ful of 'em. Bad ones, granted.