Tiger Woods injured

Very convenient for the wife to have a golf club handy to smash out the back window - in any other report like this the wife would be suspected of chasing the car with the club - and the lacerations wouldnt be because of the crash.

** This is tounge in cheek for the humor impaired **

TMZ is reporting an argument between Tiger and his wife Elin.

So someone was teed off.

I guess this demonstrates why you aren’t supposed to drive angry.

And THIS is TONGUE in cheek for the spelling impaired. HA!

Sorry, couldn’t pass it up.

Something seems amiss with this story so far. I’m sure it’s getting the microscope treatment because it’s Tiger Woods, but from what I’ve been able to piece together so far:

  1. Serious condition is automatically given to anyone taken to the hospital in an ambulance.

  2. His website is playing down the accident.

  3. The injuries were cuts to his lips, blood in his mouth (probably from said lips), and a smack in the head that caused him to fade (golf term) in and out.

  4. He pulled out of his driveway, into the hydrant and tree.

Airbags didn’t go off, so from the link, he was going under 33 mph. Which, given the distance from his house to his neighbor’s house (from the picture), isn’t surprising. But he must have been moving pretty fast to remove the hydrant to get to the tree.

Pure speculation! - Fight between Tiger and wife. He bolts out of house with wife chasing him with golf club. He jumps into SUV (why not a Buick Rendevous? CHEATER!), floors it, swerves to miss the birdie (mentioned above), runs ***over ***the hydrant (impressive) and finds the woods (ok, the tree). Wife breaks open window of SUV with her club, broken glass cuts Tiger’s lips, she tattoos Tiger in the brain with another swing to finish fight (she wins!), and then pulls him out of the SUV to the ground for photo op (and to cover her butt).

Charges pending? Not wearing a seat belt (no time, he was being chased), PITA fine over tree damage (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arborvitae).

That’s all I got.

You forgot that Elin used a rescue club on the caddy.

Nice. :smiley:

One weird note I saw scrolled at the bottom of ESPN. It said Elin broke out the ***back ***window of the SUV to get Tiger out.

Seriously? She broke out the back window, climbed up through it, over two bench seats and got in the front… then opened the door and pushed Tiger out. That’s the story?

Considering she was 10 feet from the accident scene, you’d think she’d just get the spare set of keys from the hook by the garage door.

:dubious:

Elin may have got on line and found out Tiger was screwing around on her. It has been going around for a while. Sometimes it is a bitch to be famous.

Isn’t this how Driving Miss Daisy started?

Pretty obvious that Mrs. Woods busted his shit and beat his ass. El Tigre tried to escape but Mrs. Woods took the ass beating to the street…

That’s what it sounds like. I think “rescued” is an extreme euphemism. More “captured after an attempted escape.”

Elin is badass. Who would have thought?

This weekend will be very interesting. “Rest of the Story” speculation will be rampant. It will be an awkward week at the Chevron. Tiger doesn’t like inquiries into his private life. First the National Enquirer story about an alledged affair, and then this.

Officially, the story broke at 2:44 pm et, but on a golf forum, a poster reported the incident at 9:30 eastern time. Apparently the poster knew an employee at the hospital where Tiger was taken.

Yeah, that caught my attention, too. Got to be more to this story…

This. First thing I thought when I heard it.

There is more to this story that’s for sure.

Maybe Tiger’s wife caught him playing with his putter? :wink:

I’ll bet any Doper a million dollars that next week tabloids will compare this confrontation to OJ & Nicole. “Elin fears she’ll be the next Nicole.”

.

From the way this turned out, I think Tiger should fear he’ll be the next Nicole.

latest speculation, the facial injuries were cause by wifie after getting after him for girlfriend. She was smacking him and he got into the car to get away. She was following beating on car with putter when when he took off. That is why she had a golf club handy when she got to the car.

This doesn’t happen to chess Grandmasters.

This is still troubling me. He was not intoxicated, according to police, but he manages to hit a fire hydrant and a tree while pulling out of his own driveway? At 2:25am?

At a minimum they have him on a seat belt violation, no?